S o I e , rECANSUMMt. lORVIIMMINAMINateRUSIMMKORRM ` .1MMMIUMA-VMAIRM& •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • The Lonely Girl very now and then I hear a troubling story from someone, and it bothers me so much I don't know what to do. T hat's when I turn to you. For not only do you listen patiently and thoughtfully, often you provide me with the best guidance. Thankfully, this is not a story about a child who is being horribly abused, or one who is terribly dis- abled. But it's not a happy story. It's a tale of a little girl lost. I'll call her Susan. Susan is 8 and she lives near a friend of mine. don't know what it is, but Susan% parents just don't seem inter- ested in taking care of her. She is always at someone else's house, roaming the neighborhood, looking for some place to stay. Once she came to my house after school and was very hungry; I fed her three sandwiches and a bowl of ice cream. I'm sure her parents love Oh her, but they seem so disinterested. That's why I think of Susan as the lonely girl." "Maybe the parents both work full time and it's the baby sitter who is negligent?' I wondered. But no. The mother doesn't work out of the house, and while the ~father does have a full-time job, even when he's home he's not see- ing to the care of Susan or her older siblings. "She has spent hours and hours and hours at our home, and her parents never know where she is. `Once, Susan even came over and announced: 'My mother has to go out and asked me to see whether I could come stay with you for a few hours.' Mind you, I have never met Susan's mother. I explained to Susan that my daughter, with whom she plays, wasn't home. Susan wanted to come anyway. It was heartbreaking to have to say no, but what could I do?" I don't have an answer. I am a firm believer in the idea of letting children play by themselves. At least once a day, I encourage mine to color or build with bricks or play dress up — whatev- er they want, so long as they are off using their own imaginations and are far away from parental guid- ance and supervision. It benefits them, I can see clearly; and it most certainly gives me a much need break. But whether we want to acknowl- edge it or not, young children also need our direction throughout much of their waking life: to see that they have enough to eat, to play games with them from time to time, to help them with their homework, to ask what kind of day they had, to hug them, to hear their jokes and admire their drawings. To be there and to be involved — that's what it means to parent. - SUPER B SUPER FR1EN SUPER PA TY •• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Sunday, January 31 • 5:00 p.m. at the BAD FROG TAVERN 555 Old Woodward Birmingham t Ages 21-33 904 Waal full Set $26.00 Fill In $16.00 Silk Wrap/Gel Nails .. $30.00 Gel fill & SiII rill .... $20.00 Manicures with Free Parafin Treatment • Pedicures with Message (248) 538-0948 To send an 8-year-old child out to fend for herself all day is ridiculous- ly lazy. Not to keep tabs on her whereabouts for hours on end is nothing less than shameful. II Sugar Tree Plaza 6235 Orchard Lake Rd. • West Bloomfield unique shoes bags jewelry gifts Hospitality Gifts Party Favors Custom Chocolates Candy & Cookie Trays gloried5 Elizabeth Applebaum AppleTree Editor You can reach Elizabeth Applebaum at (248) 354 6060, ext. 308, or at philapple@earthlink.net . - (248) 474-3312 WE DELIVER! 1/29 1999 Detroit Jewish News 77