For Openers...

DISABILITY
CAN
TOUCH
ANY FAMILY.

The Shanda-Rama
Enters Jewish Living

no mushrooms sprout from the carpet
he answer was right there
for a whole month, then I promise
in front of us, but it took a
we'll
take you to Disneyland."
creative, perceptive mind to
How can serious Jewish val-
point to this inno-
ues be taught to the hordes
vative way of assuring
of
Jews in shorts and T-
responsible Jewish living for
shirts
who annually invade
the future.
a
theme
park symbolized by
My close friend, Rabbi
a
mouse?
Rabbi Lerner's
Leigh Lerner of Montreal,
ingenious
concept: an
carefully surveyed modern
attraction called "The
Jewish family life and discov-
Shanda-rama: A Ride for
ered that on one or more
the Jewish Soul."
/-occasions during the critical
Simple
yet elegant, the
child-rearing years, an
RABB I BOB
Shanda-rama
takes its name
astoundingly high percentage
AL PER
from
"shanda,"
meaning
of our families make that pil-
Specia 1 to The
"shame,"
those
embarrass-
grimage to the promised
Jewis h News
ing, terrible things we warn
land. Israel, you ask? No, the
our
kids about. It would
other promised land, as in,
work
like
this:
Visitors would be ush-
"If you'll keep your rooms so neat that
ered into a central seating area, kind
Rabbi Bob Alper is a stand-up comic
of an immense lazy Susan, and fasten
/—and author.
their seat belts. The ride would have a

Topping The Charts

Fans of Letterman or not, everyone seems to have a Top Ten List. These may be annoy-
ances or frustrations or observations of the goings on in today's society. Send your lists to Sy
Manello: smanello@thejewisbnews.com or fax to (248) 354-6069. Please make sure
your Top Ten List is in good taste. We reserve the rz'ght to edit or reject items.

\

\-.

/-

Janet Parker Deitsch of Temple Kol Ami sent these frustrations:
1. Blockbuster video late fee of $3 per day.
2. Kosher chicken three times the price of non-kosher.
3. "Cowboy" drivers.
4. Having Oakland County Water and Sewage charge "sewage fees" for
my lawn watering.
5. Local radio stations' major news stories consisting of traffic, weather
and sports.
6. Taking the car in for a tire change and always having another repair
needed.
7. People pretending to be friendly.
8. S..L..0..W restaurant service.
9. Having The Jewish News advertise Santa items.
10.Children who are ungrateful for their Chanukah presents.

gentle rotation, giving the audience a
view of each surrounding platform.
The seat belts would protect them
from severe emotional turbulence as
they view panels that include:
* What happens when you don't
study. This tableau depicts a middle-
aged couple, slouching stupefied in
front of a television, cobwebs hanging
from their bodies. They have become
social pariahs, we learn, ever since
their child began to attend a college
that is not in the Ivy League.

Jewish living
for
the future.

* Why mah jongg must be revital-
ized. A narrator explains that the
tragedy we see unfolding began when
this 46-year-old Jewish woman
became enamored of TV's "Body by
Jake" Steinfeld and enrolled in his
muscle-building program. Here, her
husband sadly realizes she is beyond
help when, given the aliyah to return
the Torah to the Ark, she not only
picks up the Sacred Scrolls, but also
the rabbi who is holding them.
* Where did we go wrong? Heads
held in hands, a man and woman
moan loudly as they try to figure out
why their kids have joined, and are
regularly attending, a synagogue of a
different denomination than the syna-
gogue in which they were raised,
though seldom attended.
The possibilities are limitless. No
doubt every family already has its own
Shanda-rama favorites.
Michael Eisner, Disney CEO,
kindly take note. Fl

Now or in
the future.

0

-14P-

0

* • *

JARC IS committed to

providing homes and services to

enable adults and children. with

developmental disabilities to

live full and meaningful lives

in our community.

A STRONG ENDOWMENT

FUND, coupled with annual

giving will guarantee a solid

future for people with

disabilities... Not just for

today and tomorrow.

But for a lifetime.

BE CAUSE EVERYDAY

a baby is born who will

someday need JARC.

PLEASE JOIN US.

Call 248-352-5272.

llowz By You

BY

Mendel

HI, I'M WITH A,T.A., APPITH ETiC
J-EGUS OP AMERICA, MD WE'D

LIKE
To COME
OUR
NEXT EVENT— OH, NEVER MIND,

THANK YOU

to the generous supporters

who have contributed to the

JARC Endowment Fund,

Caring for a Lifetime.

.gOU IRE PROSAf3L NOT
NTERESTEP

CAMPAIGN CHAIRS

Barbara and Irving Nusbaum

THE JARC ENDOWMENT FUND

28366 FRANKLIN ROAD

SOUTHFIELD, MI 48034

1/15

1999

Detroit Jewish News

5