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January 08, 1999 - Image 5

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1999-01-08

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

For Openers...

Listen For The Patter
Of Those Little Feet

"No," replied the mailman. "He
hey are the loves of our
liked
it just as it was."
lives and we don't know
• Q: What things can one learn
what we'd do without them
from a dog?
Sometimes, I think, we're
A: Never pass up the
tempted to try
opportunity
for a joyride.
"They," in this instance,
When
loved
ones come
are dogs and children — not
home,
always
run
to greet
necessarily in order of impor-
them.
tance. Yes, yes, I can already
Take naps and stretch
hear the clamoring from the
before rising.
owners of cats, birds, fish and
Eat with gusto and
armadillos, etc. Well, as soon
enthusiasm.
as I amass some jokes about
Never pretend to be
those pet animals, I'll write
something
you are not.
about them, too.
SY MAN ELLO
On
hot
days,
drink lots
For now, consider some of
Edi to ri al A ssistant of water and lie under a
these:
shady tree.
• Q: What dog says,
When you are happy, dance around
"Meow?"
and wag your entire body.
A: A police dog working undercove r.
Delight in the simple joy of a long
• Q: If a dog loses his tail, where
walk.
does he get another?
Just when we think we've mas-
A: At a retail store.
tered
having pet dependents, we
• A mailman complained to his
assume
it's time for a family. After
boss that a dog had bitten him in the
the
children
arrive, we wonder —
leg that morning.
sometimes for years — if we will
"Did you put anything on it?"
EVER be ready.
asked the supervisor.

T

• A father was trying to teach his
son the evils of drinking alcohol. He
put one worm in a glass of water and
another in a glass of whiskey.
The worm in the water lived while
the one in the whiskey curled up and
died.
"Now what does that show you?"
exclaimed the father.
The youngster thought for a
moment and replied, "It shows that if
you drink alcohol you won't get
worms."

phraseology

(A little taste ofYiddish.)

Gadles ligt oifen mist.
Pride lies on the dunghill.

And so does his brother
Arrogance.

THESE
BUSINESSES
MAKE
JAR C
THEIR
BUSINESS

WE SALUTE THESE

BUSINESS BUDDIES

FOR DONATING GOODS AND

SERVICES TO JARC DURING

THE PAST 12 MONTHS:

Advance Bag and
Packaging Company

Lighting Supply
Company

American Blind and
Wallpaper Factory

Lincoln Center
Barber Shop

Automatic
Apartment Laundries

Linwood Pipe and
Supply

AVPS Corporation

Mall Optical

Barry's Let's Rent It

Gary D. Miller

Blossoms, Inc.

Murray's Discount
Auto Stores, Inc.

Jo Bruce Corporate
Training Associates

Cadillac/Mayfair
Travel

Metropolitan
Heating and Cooling

Joe Cornell
Entertainment

Oakland Grill

Detroit Popcorn
Company

Pest Arrest, Inc.

Party Linens

Quotables

Duraclean Specialists

"I run into young men named something like Nolan Rosenberg or Conan Cohen. I notice there are no kids named
Shlomo O'Hara."

Golden Valley Dairy

Einstein Bros. Bagels

Barry W. Feldman,
M.D.

— "American Spectator" columnist Benjamin Stein, on the trend among Jews to give their children Irish first names.

"Many people back down to 'Big Brother' and pay a fine. But I couldn't accept that as a matter of principle."

— Kirsti Larsen, a Christian Norwegian sent to jail for two days for refusing to pay a $200 fine
for giving her son the name Gesher, which is Hebrew for "bridge." The name is not on the government's list
of approved children's names and was deemed too unusual by Norwegian authorities.

"The Wicked Witch of the West embodied the worst of Nazi tyranny — Hitler's personal messenger sent to tormeni an
unsuspecting Jewess trapped in a strange land whose dangers she could not comprehend."

— Writer Danny Miller, on how the release of "The Wizard of Oz" in 1939, just weeks before the Nazi invasion of Poland,
was intended as an allegory for the impending destruction of European Jewry.

Howe By You

Graham and
Associates

Quality Mailing and
Fulfillment Services
— A Lason Company

Randall Williams
Design

Resource Data
Systems Corporation

V2 Off Card Shop

Snookers

Hamilton, Miller
Hudson 8r. Fayne
Travel

Somerset Cleaners

Speedlink, Inc.

Hudon's Select
Personal Shopping

Technihouse

The Sports Gallery

Harry's Garden
Centers, Inc.

Tracey and Associates

Hersch's Lawn Spray

Tri-County Building
Inspectors, Inc.

HA-LO Creative
Concepts in
Marketing

Unique Restaurant
Corporation

Victor/Harder
Productions

Walker Printery, Inc.

Kim Lifton Writing
Services

BY Mendel

THEW HOW

Preferred Building
Company

GT Photographic

Katzman/Siegel
Photography

DADDY, ARE .W)0
GJEU, I-40NE9,
A PEE Pt-
I HAVE I\1(
Re- t-1610US
MOMErt)TS, BU T
PERSON?
B,S STRICT
STAMPRRPS,

Murray's on
Plymouth Road

EVER 51-IASBAT

COME goo 60 Tews ALL OVER
OH, I THOUGHT
TO SNUl, ON THE CJORLP ATTal
IT WAS FOR
51-IABBAT? SERVICES AND DECLARE THE SHMOOZING

"WE ARE THE 1ElAlle1-1

( PEOPLE AND WE SHARE THIS
SPIRITUAL MANE 106ENER‘

THAT
TOO

BUSINESS BUDDIES HELP

JARC DEVOTE AS MANY

RESOURCES AS POSSIBLE

TO DIRECT SERVICES.

TO BECOME A

JARC BUSINESS BUDDY,

CALL RENA FRIEDBERG AT

2 4 8 '35 2 '5 2 7 2

.

A Jewish Association for Residentiol Care

for persons with detTlopmental disobilsties

28366 FRANKLIN ROAD

Ml 48034
(248) 352-5272 NVTTN' ,

SOUTHFIELD,

199

Detroit Jewish News

5

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