/

_ D

Pair this with the chatter of the
women playing, and you have a
tremendous sound. Add about 30 or
40 tables of Jewish women doing the
same thing in one room, and it is
positively deafening. During tourna-
ments, organizers use a microphone
to be heard over the din.
"It was s0000 loud, you could bare-
ly hear yourself think," said Mosryn,
last year's coordinator of the Hadas-
sah Mahjong Tournament.
Cindy Atler, who played in the
tournament, said the competition
could be cut-throat at times.
In her very competitive group, she
said there were times when there was
almost no talking as players moved
swiftly through several hands during
their three- to four-hour sessions.
Now, Atler happily plays in a
smaller mahj group that at times
loses track of whose turn it is to deal

or draw because the players are so
wrapped up in their conversation
For these women, the point of
playing is to catch up with each
other, to set time aside to maintain
their personal relationships over the
tile game.
"We are very social. Sometimes,
we only play a few hands because we
are so distracted by the conversa-
tion," said Atler. "It really depends
on the group, though, and what the
players are there for: to play or to
socialize."
For others, mahj is a way of bridg-
ing generations. Player Renee May
recalled how as a child she'd be in
stifling bedroom listening to her
mother, Sally Reich, and friends chat-
ter away as the tiles melodiously
banged into each other. May also
remembered her grandmother and
friends hunched over a cable, playing
mahj.
At age 30, May learned the
game from her mother-in-law
and mother. Although May and
Reich, both of Farmington Hills,
were close in the past, mahj has
ewish wedding tradition, so
brought them closer in the five
I've been told, considers car-
years since May began playing.
rying the chuppa to be a
"We have a great relationship
higher honor than the more
anyway, so this is something extra
social conventions of serving as a
that we do together," Reich said,
bridesmaid or groomsman.
adding that she passed on her
Having stood up in a wedding for
mother's mahj set to her daugh-
the first time recently — as a chuppa
ter.
holder, no less — I can understand
May feels honored to be called
why carrying the bridal canopy is a
every now and then to play with
position held in such high esteem.
her mother's group. Reich is
Much more can go wrong when
proud to have her: "I have to
you're balancing a quarter of the bride
that she is a natural-born card
and groom's symbolic home than
player.
when you're just holding a bouquet
Now May looks forward to the
and looking pretty.
day that she can instruct the
I was very much aware, through-
next generation — her daughters
our my appointment as chuppa hold-
Sarah, 9, and Debbie, 5.
er, that if I went down, the very fab-
"They already know how
ric of the bride and groom's house
set the game up," May said. "And
' would collapse. I didn't fall. But
when they are teenagers, I will
thank goodness for wedding
Randi Simko sorts her tiles.
teach them to play." E
rehearsals.
It hadn't crossed my mind prior to
my cousin's wedding rehearsal that
• weddings don't just spontaneously
come t6 order, with couples expertly
waltzing two-by-two down the aisle at
Tuesday, Jan. 12
precisely the right moments.
Enter: the wedding planner.
Discus s The Gold qf'
At
once, my cousin's wedding
Exodus
with
Rabbi
Josh
Ben-
planner
had us quietly lined up single
nett, as part of the Loop book club program. 7
file, afraid to so much as breathe until
p.m.,
Birmingham
Borders.
Kari
program.
203
she sternly whispered "go."
-1470, or Amy Milner, (248)
(248)
354-1050,
But more than her orchestrating
abilities, I've never seen someone so
prepared. I'd like to hire a wedding
planner just to follow me around so I
wouldn't have to carry a purse. If a

(

/-

She Says

Chuppah holding
is a mixed bag of honor
and responsibility.

„,

Irapp entngs

jr

ALLISON
KAPLAN

Special to The
Jewish News

button pops off my jacket, she's got
thread to fix it. If I get a little hungry,
she brings snacks that won't stain
(white food, this is apparently called
in the wedding world). And if the
snack leaves an aftertaste, no prob-
lem. The wedding planner always car-
ries mints!
No wonder wedding planners don't
come cheap.
On the day of the big event, we
chuppa holders required an extra
practice session. And it's a good
thing, because our whole routine had
been disrupted.
The smooth, bare bamboo poles
we used in the rehearsal were now
covered with delicate leaves and flow-
ers. I could barely find a place to grab
hold.
And the stairs. There hadn't been
any stairs when we practiced. Now
there were two. Having nearly lost
my balance when the chuppa pole
stayed on the first step as I ascended
to the second, I learned the most
important rule in chuppa holding:
Raise that pole up high.
It must have looked good when
the four of us reached the bimah and
spread out to our appointed corners
without ripping the chuppa. Now all
I had to do was stand quietly —
glancing from time to time to make
sure the chuppa wasn't resting on the
over-six-foot-tall groom's head.
The rabbi offered perhaps the
most important piece of wedding
advice just before we went on. I was

lit
1999

Detroit Jewish News

87