'or Openers...
end Let Us
III Say Amen
how our prayers are received, con-
he power of prayer is
sider this one from the Internet:
never to be underestimat-
• A famous rabbi went to heave,
ed.
He sat in the waiting room hour
Now, here are two
after hour, waiting for his
lever stories, both involv-
sins to be weighed against
ng prayers, which I'd like
his good deeds. The line
o share with you.
moved very slowly.
• A man is in the woods
Soon he sees a new fel-
vhen he comes across a
low come in, go to the
)ear. Frightened for his life,
head of the line and get
he man runs as fast as he
sent straight to Eden.
,an and hides in a cave. He
Now the rabbi, who had
s then horrified to find
been very patient, gets up,
hat he's run to the bear's
dusts himself off and goes
tome and now is trapped.
SY MANELLO
to complain.
The man closes his eyes
Editorial Assistant "Who was that fellow that
and starts to pray to God.
he got such treatment
.k11 of a sudden, he hears
while I have been sitting
:he bear speaking Hebrew
here for hours?"
and he exclaims, "I am
"Why, he is an Israeli bus driver,"
this must be the only Jewish
came the answer.
bear in the world."
"What?" the rabbi exclaimed.
But before he start to thank God,
"How could it be that a man like
the man hears the bear's words,
that waltzes right in and gets sent
hamotzi lechers min haaretz."
through while I, a famous rabbi, the
And when we stop to think about
leader of a large congregation, am
kept waiting for hours?"
"Well," the angels tell him, "it's
really quite simple. When you get
up to make a speech, you cause hun-
dreds of people to fall asleep. But
when an Israeli bus driver sits down
to drive his bus, he causes 40 people
to pray!" [1
Phraseology
(A little taste of Yiddish.)
Fun shikker and fiin shenker
shtinkt mit bronfen.
The drunk and the bartender
both smell of whiskey.
SHIFT
INTO
"CHAT"
GEAR
Donate your
car to JARC!
Either way, they both smell.
quotables
"She did, but she's not the president; and she's not trying to manage the peace process."
— President Bill Clinton, on wife Hillary Rodham Clinton's remark lass May that she supports the creation of a Pales-
tinian state, which runs counter to American foreign policy.
"I do not need Rabbi Ismar Schorsch or anyone else to remind me of my obligation to worthy Jewish and non-Jewish
causes.
— Abe Pollin, owner of several Washington 3-ports franchises, on the Jewish Theological Seminary chancellor's chastising of
Jewish team owners for not spending more money on Jewish education.
"(Rick Blaine's) suspiciously WASP-y name was a giveaway ... In my telling, Rick Blaine equals Yitzik Baline."
— Michael Walsh, author of "As Time Goes By" an update to the movie "Casablanca," in which the hero is revealed to be a Jewish
gangster who fled to Europe to avoid a mob killing.
"I especially enjoy that the phrase is in Yiddish. For Jewish people, who have traveled five millennia, the Gregorian calen-
dar's second millennium is no big deal."
— Mary Capdeveill, who with her husband Bruce has copyrighted the phrase "millennium shmillennium.” The Montana couple
are approaching manufacturers of apparel, stationery, party goods, gifis and novelties to license and print the phrase on products.
ilowz By You
BY Mendel
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GO TO SHUL
END-UP GOING TO
OUT I POIQ'T
TI-1C OFF10E,„
T.V. SHOWS TO WATCH
KNOW HOW To PAVE .)
1.It's last
2.It's Easy
a. It's lax Deductible
4. Free Towing
5. Almost Any Condition
Motorcycles 6 RVs, also
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for persons with developmental disabilities
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Southfield. MI 48034
(248) 352-5272 v/tty
12/25
1998
Detroit Jewish News
5