Big Plans

He popped the question, she agreed, they've got a date ... now what?

ERIC BAUM

Special to The Jewish. News

et the insanity begin,"
remarks bride-to-be
Sheri Benkoff.

From the moment she accepted
Michael Benchetrit's marriage pro-
posal on Nov. 13, a Pandora's box of
wedding details opened. In it, she
found an overwhelming world of
dresses, photographers, rabbis and
other possibilities offered by one of
the world's largest retail industries.
Planning the happiest day of your
life needn't be a stressful, cost-prohib-
itive experience — if you play your
cards right. Deciding whether to use a
professional planner and choosing a
synagogue were only the first debates
in the lengthy process of organizing
Benkoff and Benchetrit's Nov. 7,
1999, nuptials.
Faced with the daunting task of
maintaining their busy legal careers
and organizing an event that could
cost more than some starter homes,
Benkoff and Benchetrit have decided
to tap the combined experience of
their parents, who helped four other
children plan weddings. They will
also rely on some sort of professional
facilitator during the ceremony.
"Between my mother and his
mother, we probably couldn't do bet-
ter as far as wedding planners," says
Benkoff. "But I imagine we'll proba-
bly have someone else there to coordi-
nate things." At this early date, that
much — and little else — has been
decided.
With the average figure for large,
upscale weddings now surpassing
$50,000, more parents are quietly
offering their children cash instead,
says West Bloomfield-based wedding
coordinator Andrea Solomon. Yet
planning weddings doesn't necessarily
have to lead to insanity.
Solomon is paid between $400 and
$3,000 to speak in a calm voice and
carry a tiny emergency kit full of
smelling salts and needle and thread.
Supervising wedding rehearsals and
ceremonies, she has used the handy
kit three times recently on people

12/18
1998

Dorado in West Bloomfield. The
popular Bay Pointe Country Club in
West Bloomfield charges $60 per per-
son for a minimum of 225 guests on
Saturday evenings. Fashionable cere-
monies are also being held at the Fox
Theatre in Detroit, the Cranbrook
Institutions in Bloomfield Hills and
the Detroit Athletic Club.
Competing with elaborate dinner
receptions that cost $100 per person,
When yoUre starting out planning a wedding,
Paul Kohn, of Quality Kosher
CCU' going to other peop\es vcceptions-, they can be a great
Catering, says his affairs are priced for
source of ideas. Ask ustcians and caterers for cards
free moment. Also, to cut costs,
working people. While synagogues do
l'urchasing extra
a
order.
not typically charge members to use
when they have
s the initial
double-check the guest much a
the sanctuary facilities, Kohn says
as
o fhe
the 'items
they usually ask for an average $500
invitations later may
cost
a wedding,
some
include the following-.
honorarium for the rabbi's services.
Zn 0311.11111S
to consider
However, if you want your reception
in the adjacent social hall, you'll pay a
stess thank you 'gifts
ho
rate comparable to most banquet
• Shower
facilities around town. (Kosher recep-
• Invitations
tions, of course, run higher.)
Wedding rings
•
Non-members typically pay $1,000
dress
Wedding
•
for use of the sanctuary and reception
arty gifts
area at Congregation Shaarey Zedek.
• \-Veddingr person
Meal pe person
Freelance Rabbi Herschel Finman
When
applicable)
Liquor
typically
receives $500 for perform-
•
costs
Rabbis costs
ing ceremonies — Solomon suggests
• Synagogue
Reception_ reser-vation
hall reservation costs (-when applicable)
sending the rabbi an invitation to
•
the reception, too.
•
Liquor can be brought in privately
her
• Band
at
$3.50 per person, including ice
andlor videograp
• Flowers
and
glasses. An average, catered
ifts to each other
Photographer
hors d'oeurves dinner, and sweet
• Bridelbriclegroorn g
table reception ranging from "sim-
•
moon
loney
ple
to sublime," runs between $25
-1--
•
and $50 per person.
So your guests are fed and happy.
What about the other details? Jerry
Litwin, president of State Flowers in
budgeting. But if the purse strings are
who have passed out during the nup-
Southfield, says wedding arrange-
pulled tight, decide what means the
ments cost between $2,500-$15,000.
tials.
most to you and allot more money in
Even with weddings, you get what
Suzanne's Bridal Gallery owner
that direction. For instance, if a cou-
you pay for. A bridal couple has to
Suzanne Loiselle sees Farmington
ple wants the best, most memorable
juggle photography, flowers, food,
brides paying $600 to $3,500 for
photos in town, a heftier portion of
rabbi and synagogue costs and video,
gowns ordered a year in advance.
the wedding funds should flow in
while also deciding on whether to
Paul Herring, assistant manager at
that direction.
bring in a wedding coordinator to
Tapper's Fine Diamonds and Jewelry
Priorities should drive the budget,
take the pressure off the moms.
in West Bloomfield, says round, one
says
Solomon. Deciding whether to
Plus, don't forget the gifts for each
diamonds in the $5,000 range are
emphasize the setting and meal, or
other, wedding party thank you gifts,
his most popular sellers. Lorio-Ross
splurge on a ring and the honey-
appreciation gifts to shower and
Sterling Entertainment Agency in Royal
moon, will help determine a niche
engagement parry hosts, the wedding
Oak uses videotaped performances to
within reasonable price ranges.
dress ... the list seems endless.
promote the Jerry Ross Band, Skyline,
Popular non-sanctuary wedding
How does a couple budget appro-
the Backstreet Horns, Joyride and other
venues include the Dearborn Ritz-
priately for a wedding? It depends on
acts heavily in demand. Entertainers
Carlton, Excalibur restaurant in
priorities and a good dose of reality. If
PLANS on page 114
Southfield, and the 500-capacity El
the sky's the limit, don't worry about