OPINION
Mixed Emotions Color
Daughter's Sendoff To College
MEMORY LOSS?
SOLUTIONS FOR CAREGIVERS
If your loved one is having memory problems, trouble
with simple tasks or personality changes, you may
benefit from our Orientation to Alzheimer's Disease,
SHELLI DORFMAN
Editorial Assistant
a three-part workshop for caregivers.
I
Workshop Dates and Topics:
•December 2
Understanding Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia
• December 9
Communication and Behavior Issues
•December 16
Legal/Financial Issues & Community Resources
Time: All sessions run from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.
Location:
Max M. Fisher Federation Building
6735 Telegraph Road
Bloomfield Hills
The workshops are free. Refreshments will be served.
Please call (248) 557-8277 to register.
Alzheimer's Association - Detroit Area Chapter
Commission on Jewish Eldercare Services
Jewish Community Adult Day Care Program
Jewish Home and Aging Services
Jewish Vocational Service
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JEWISH NEWS
N
t was 3:05
in the morning and
my phone was ringing. I
answered quickly and heard the
voice of my daughter, Kim, who
was calling from her college dorm
room in Jerusalem. She told me there
had just been a grenade attack in
Beersheva, right outside the kibbutz
where she and her friends were work-
ing. She told me they were safe, and
then said, amazingly, "Don't worry.
Go back to sleep."
But I didn't.
Instead my thoughts traveled back
to a day, a year ago, when she came
home from a United Synagogue Youth
Poland/Israel Pilgrimage with the news
that when she sent in her college
applications for the following year, she
would like to include one for the
Nativ College Leader-
ship Program in Israel.
It was easy to say yes. It
was just an application
and it was only for a
year. Besides, she would
probably change her
mind.
In October, the
application arrived. It
was immediately com-
pleted and mailed.
Knowing that overseas
schools often don't send
acceptance letters until
spring, I figured by the time Kim got
word from them, she would have
made another choice and forgotten all
about going to college in Israel.
In November, the University of
Michigan wrote: "We are happy to
inform you..." In December, the
Columbia/Jewish Theological Semi-
nary List program beckoned, "We're
waiting for you." But Kim said she'd
hold out until she heard from Nativ,
and then decide. By March, her
friends all had their college plans set.
Maybe, I thought, she'd decide to join
them closer to home. But then the
mail came ... Nativ wanted her and
she immediately shouted that she
wanted them, too.
Every day since then has been filled
with emotion. In April, I accepted the
honor of reading the "Prayer for
Israel" in our shul on Shabbat. I
choked on the words that have always
been of the utmost importance, that
Shelli Dorfman may be reached by
phone at (248) 354-6060,
ext. 246, or by e-mail at
sdoifinan@thejewishnews.coin
now have new meaning. At our seder,
on Pesach, we sang, "Next year in
Jerusalem." And we looked at one
another, both knowing that for her,
that would be true.
On a beautiful June evening, my
daughter sat on the stage at Meadow
Brook with other summa cum laude
graduates at her high school gradua-
tion, as her principal read each stu-
dent's "best high school memory."
Amid the favorite thoughts of her
classmates, describing teachers and
football games and dances, was Kim's
best memory of high school ... it was
during summer vacation, when she
traveled to Israel.
In August, we renewed her pass-
port, packed the adapter for her com-
puter, a year's supply of contact lenses
and her ticket to New York. Between
the pieces of clothing that remained in
her closet, I stared at the space where
Kim Dorfman and
Kenny Birnholtz on the
United Synagogue Youth
Nativ College Leadership
Program in Israel
robes from her high school and Hillel
graduations sandwiched the dresses
from her bat mitzvah and proms.
September brought the countdown.
I bought milk and knew when it
expired, Kim would be in Israel. Her
new sheets, washed and packed here,
would be unfolded in her dorm room.
The emotions of my younger daughter
Stephanie teetered. In tears, she told
me she couldn't survive high school
without her sister here, but also blurt-
ed out such revelations as, "If I could'
break through the wall in my closet, I
could have my room, and Kim's, and
Kim's phone line!"
We saw Kim as far as New York,
where she attended a day-long orienta-
tion as we flew home. Arriving from
the airport, we were jolted by the sight
of her car in the driveway, and later by
the sound of her brother Rick, over-
heard on the phone saying, "No, she's
not; Kim doesn't live here anymore."
The next evening, Rick led the
evening service for the Shaarey Zedek
parent-student Hebrew school orienta-
tion. As he began the Shema, I glanced