Fraya Hirschberg, 23
"I was extremely lucky. I was introduced to Elissa Lorfel, who introduced
me to Jodi Berger, who knows the world. Through Jodi I got involved with
YAD, Federation, YASS, and that's where I met a lot of people. I just kept
going to those things, and then I ended up running one."
Originally from Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., Hirschberg attended the University
of Michigan and accepted a position in
Southfield after graduation. She started meet-
ing people through the West Bloomfield
Jewish Community Center's health club.
met my roommate, ironically, at the JCC."
How'd she make Detroit her home? "It
really depends on your personaliry. I was
always the person who went to a new city
every summer in college. If you're adventur-
ous and will walk up to a total stranger,
which is what I did, you're OK. People know
people who know people, so even if you start
small, after a while, you'll wind up knowing
more people."

Loren Stone, 30
"You'd be surprised how many people are
here without immediate family," said Stone
who grew up in Edmonton, Alberta, and
moved here from Toronto five years ago. She
met her husband on a vacation in Mexico,
and they dated long-distance for a while.
"I mostly met people through my hus-
band. I joined a book club with a bunch of
people from all over the place that were
newly married, so they were in the same situ-
anon I was in."
With two children, Stone says the best way to meet others is through par-
ent-toddler classes. "Having kids is a great way to meet people. You have to
go in with an open mind, be willing to meet people. It's good to get
involved with community things and the kids' schools."

Courtney Colton, 29
"Most of the girls I'm friendly with, they're transplants like me, so they're in
the same boat I am," says the University of Michigan graduate, who stayed
in state because her husband's family business was based here. They lived in
Ann Arbor for a few years before relocating to Birmingham in 1992.
"Most people I met in college from Michigan went to other places [after
graduation]. We have a close group of my husband's friends from growing
up. I began meeting people through book
clubs, play groups. . . the hardest part was
that I missed my family in Maryland."
Colton thinks it would be hard to move
to Michigan if you're single "because the dat-
ing scene isn't necessarily easy. Married cou-
ples have it better.
"I've heard that joining Hadassah is a
good way to meet people," she adds. "People
here are looking to help others. You have to
be outgoing, but once you meet some peo-
ple, you meet more. You can't let others
come to you.

"

11/27
1998
128 Detroit Jewish News

Fitting
Right In

How to find your way into the
abundant social, organizational and
religious life of Jewish Detroit.

in the Jewish Federation of
Metropolitan Detroit. "I met a lot of
Scene Editor
people through that,"Robyn said.
"That was the one thing that saved
eople moving into the
me because it kept me busy and I
Detroit community some-
didn't really have time to feel lonely
times find it hard meshing
or sorry for myself, I was so busy
with those whose families
going to meetings."
have been here for decades, and
Canvasser, 34, knows a lot of
sometimes, generations. Yet if we
other
women who moved here for a
live here, or returned after living
gravitate
"We tended to ar
vitate
husband.
away, then we obviously have found
towards
each
other,"
she
said.
"One
things to like, and often love, about
of my friends started a book group.
this community.
Eventually, we got to be friends with
But what native Detroiters don't
people who were from here, and
realize is that it can be difficult, and
now it's a mixed group."
unsettling, to try to break into the
"The thing I would recommend is
circles that the natives have taken
to
try
to have a positive attitude,"
for granted since childhood. Sure,
said
Canvasser.
"You really have to.
we recognize people in the grocery
When_you don't feel like calling
store, at the cleaners, and at the lat-
someone, you have to make the
est JARC fund-raiser or YAD bar
effort."
night. People who move here from
She noted that "Detroit is kind of
out-of-town don't have that sense of
unique
in a Midwest city in that a
familiarity, and they really hate it
lot
of
the
people that grew up here
when we act cliquey.
went
to
the
University of Michigan
Consider the not atypical experi-
together,
then
came back here, have
ence of Robyn Canvasser, who came
been
friends
forever,
don't need to
here from Columbus, Ohio, eight
make new friends, have that group
years ago, when she married her
that they've had their whole lives. [If
native Detroiter husband, Bob. They
you're
an outsider,] you really need
met while livinab in Chicago, and as
to
make
an effort" to become
they neared their wedding date, Bob
friends.
decided he wanted to move home.
"If you meet someone that's nice,
After moving to Detroit,
you
need to follow up and call them;
Canvasser first had to get used to
people tend to be responsive to it.
being married. "Most of the people I
And, just get involved. It's the easi-
was meeting had all been married
est way to meet people,"she said.
for a while and had kids, " she said.
If you're new in town and want to
"I wasn't quite in that mode yet. I
get
involved, following are some
was still used to going to bars on the
ways
to do it. Or, if you need a little
weekends." Her transition was from
inspirational
push to get going, just
of
way
a single-Chicago-big city
read
the
stories
of some new
thinking to a married-Detroit-subur-
Detroiters who did it the hard way.
ban mindset.
Maybe even give one of them a call.
Helping them to break in, a
It worked for Canvasser. E
friend of her husband's, Richard
Broder, got the Canvassers involved

LYNNE MEREDITH COHN

ro