Miller tells young adults not to
worry about the house's resale value.
Instead, focus on finding a communi-
ty you like and linking up with a
good, certified home inspector. "Most
areas in Oakland County have done
well," he said.
At one time, Detroiters were ner-
vous about buying homes in Oak
Park's 9 Mile corridor, but Miller says
he property values there have doubled
in the last decade — as they have for
most of Oakland County.
"At one time, people wanted bigger
bedrooms and kitchens. Now they're
looking for a sense of community —
where their friends are," Miller said.
"Do research on knowing the neigh-
borhood — drive around at night."
And don't rely on your realtor to
know more than the basics. Find a
good inspector who can give you an
honest look at what the house is
worth, he advises. "Real estate agents
don't know construction."
Donna Traub, who bought her

ri.

rial conflicts is that much less.
But when I moved in with my girl-
friend, everything changed. Suddenly,
I was relegated to a five-flannel-shirt
sliver of closet space. Her shoes took
up the rest — thousands of shoes! —
including open toed, closed toed,
boots, pumps, sandals and booties.
There were at least four or five for
every occasion. Half of them looked
the same anyway. They all were slight
variations on an archetype — the
funky, casual black shoe.
These variations, by the way, are
generally imperceptible to men.
Meanwhile, her friends will coo over
"how cute" each pair of shoes is com-
pared to the next. Thus came my first
experience with this essential differ-
ence between men and women. I'm
thoroughly convinced that women
buy shoes for each other. Men don't
notice shoes. We notice shoes about
as much as we notice haircuts. At
least haircuts don't take up our space.
Maybe, as one of my friends said,
our girlfriends simply resent our lack
of appreciation for their clothing.
They'll walk into a room, modeling
an outfit, and we'll just nod our heads
in a dull haze and say something like,
"Yeah, that chemise blouse definitely
looks better than the mauve one."
Like we even know what chemise
is. Or mauve. Or even a blouse. Isn't
a blouse just a shirt, after all? Is there
some notable distinction that we
should be made aware of?

West Bloomfield condo a year ago,
said it helps to write down the features
you're looking for; ask yourself, she
said, what can't you live without?
"If you're working with a real estate
agent, find one you can work
with,"advised Traub. "Find one who's
patient." She worked with three differ-
ent realtors before finding someone
with whom she clicked. "The first two
weren't very aggressive, and I felt they
weren't listening to me."
Part strategy, part timing, part luck
— becoming a homeowner is a fun
and frustrating rite of passage — and,
like your true love, when you find the
right one, you just know it.
"We got lucky with this house,"
said Allyson Cohen of the Waterford
home she shares with her husband,
Doug, and two cats. "It was sold, and
the people who bought it were in a
condo. They couldn't sell their condo,
so the deal fell through. Four days
later, we got it. It was beshert." El

The result of our indefatigable
lack of awareness, then, could be
that our girlfriends accumulate even
more things to put in their closets.
Maybe it's all done to prove a point:
What's the big deal, they might
think. It's not like these dudes notice
what we're wearing anyway. Might as
well buy out the entire lingerie sec-
tion of Victoria's Secret.
Well, we do notice. We just can't
totally empathize. Most guys simply
don't invest a lot of time or thought
into their wardrobes. We'll have a
few "going out" shirts, a couple of
pairs of ratty shorts, a few suits,
maybe a tux. And that's pretty much
it. Of course, there are always excep-
tions to the rules, but I'm willing to
bet that the total volume of all my
guy friends' shoes takes up about
half the space of our girlfriends'.
Then again, we don't usually look
quite as beautiful as they do.
Now, after eight years living with
my girlfriend (now, wife), I've
become resigned to my allotment of
behind-the-door real estate. Rather
than fight the power, I've found a
means of counterattack: folding.
Elaborate folding. Minuscule, origa-
mi-like folding of my clothes. This
way, I can accommodate my
wardrobe (mainly T-shirts, shorts
and jeans, which makes it easier than
if I was a suit guy), while allowing
my wife the room she desires. Every
relationship needs space. [I]

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11/20
1998

Detroit Jewish News 111