Miller tells young adults not to worry about the house's resale value. Instead, focus on finding a communi- ty you like and linking up with a good, certified home inspector. "Most areas in Oakland County have done well," he said. At one time, Detroiters were ner- vous about buying homes in Oak Park's 9 Mile corridor, but Miller says he property values there have doubled in the last decade — as they have for most of Oakland County. "At one time, people wanted bigger bedrooms and kitchens. Now they're looking for a sense of community — where their friends are," Miller said. "Do research on knowing the neigh- borhood — drive around at night." And don't rely on your realtor to know more than the basics. Find a good inspector who can give you an honest look at what the house is worth, he advises. "Real estate agents don't know construction." Donna Traub, who bought her ri. rial conflicts is that much less. But when I moved in with my girl- friend, everything changed. Suddenly, I was relegated to a five-flannel-shirt sliver of closet space. Her shoes took up the rest — thousands of shoes! — including open toed, closed toed, boots, pumps, sandals and booties. There were at least four or five for every occasion. Half of them looked the same anyway. They all were slight variations on an archetype — the funky, casual black shoe. These variations, by the way, are generally imperceptible to men. Meanwhile, her friends will coo over "how cute" each pair of shoes is com- pared to the next. Thus came my first experience with this essential differ- ence between men and women. I'm thoroughly convinced that women buy shoes for each other. Men don't notice shoes. We notice shoes about as much as we notice haircuts. At least haircuts don't take up our space. Maybe, as one of my friends said, our girlfriends simply resent our lack of appreciation for their clothing. They'll walk into a room, modeling an outfit, and we'll just nod our heads in a dull haze and say something like, "Yeah, that chemise blouse definitely looks better than the mauve one." Like we even know what chemise is. Or mauve. Or even a blouse. Isn't a blouse just a shirt, after all? Is there some notable distinction that we should be made aware of? West Bloomfield condo a year ago, said it helps to write down the features you're looking for; ask yourself, she said, what can't you live without? "If you're working with a real estate agent, find one you can work with,"advised Traub. "Find one who's patient." She worked with three differ- ent realtors before finding someone with whom she clicked. "The first two weren't very aggressive, and I felt they weren't listening to me." Part strategy, part timing, part luck — becoming a homeowner is a fun and frustrating rite of passage — and, like your true love, when you find the right one, you just know it. "We got lucky with this house," said Allyson Cohen of the Waterford home she shares with her husband, Doug, and two cats. "It was sold, and the people who bought it were in a condo. They couldn't sell their condo, so the deal fell through. Four days later, we got it. It was beshert." El The result of our indefatigable lack of awareness, then, could be that our girlfriends accumulate even more things to put in their closets. Maybe it's all done to prove a point: What's the big deal, they might think. It's not like these dudes notice what we're wearing anyway. Might as well buy out the entire lingerie sec- tion of Victoria's Secret. Well, we do notice. We just can't totally empathize. Most guys simply don't invest a lot of time or thought into their wardrobes. We'll have a few "going out" shirts, a couple of pairs of ratty shorts, a few suits, maybe a tux. And that's pretty much it. Of course, there are always excep- tions to the rules, but I'm willing to bet that the total volume of all my guy friends' shoes takes up about half the space of our girlfriends'. Then again, we don't usually look quite as beautiful as they do. Now, after eight years living with my girlfriend (now, wife), I've become resigned to my allotment of behind-the-door real estate. Rather than fight the power, I've found a means of counterattack: folding. Elaborate folding. Minuscule, origa- mi-like folding of my clothes. This way, I can accommodate my wardrobe (mainly T-shirts, shorts and jeans, which makes it easier than if I was a suit guy), while allowing my wife the room she desires. Every relationship needs space. [I] LEATHER SALE '50 - '100 Off Select Items Now thru December 24th, 1998 blaNO QICCI &mer8et 8outh • 1st bevel (248) 649-4433 Large selection of mens & women leathers by ANDREW MARC Private Bruno Ricci Leather Collection 11/20 1998 Detroit Jewish News 111