The BiG Story

The Big Story from page 99

But really, why should Harry have
all the fun? This year, consider
choosing your own Golden Turkeys.
They needn't be all contemporary
films; simply make your selections
!from the millions of dreadful movies
Hollywood has churned out in •
recent decades. Don't forget to
include everything starring Pia
Zadora.
(By the way, Mr. Medved has his
own Web site where he welcomes
submissions for his collection of
crummy movies. Type in "Golden
Turkey Page" for the address.)
#2) There Goes Rhymin' Turkey
Younger children love rhyming
games, but this will get real old,
real quick, if you start looking to

rhyme those three great holiday
words: Thanksgiving, pilgrim and
turkey.
Instead, try replacing "turkey" into
the lyrics of some of your favorite
songs. It sounds crazy, yes, but I
promise you the younger set will
really enjoy it! Here are some
examples to get you started:
• "On Top of Old Smokey"
becomes, you guessed it!, "On Top
of Old Turkey"
• "Blue Moon" becomes the
/,,„
simple, yet profound, Blue
Turkey" (now I'm no
longer alone, without a

dream in my heart ... ). That's beau-
tiful and — tender
isn't it?
• A famous Madonna song could
easily be "Like A Turkey" ("carved
for the very first time" ...) Catchy,
huh?
• And why miss a great opportu-
nity to make fun of Barbra
Streisand (especially recalling
that insufferable duet with Neil
Diamond)? If "You Don't Bring
Me Turkeys" isn't a classic, I
don't know what is!
#3) Dear Turkey
In 1947 a popular Norman
Krasna Broadway play became
a film. Dear Ruth was the story
of a young girl who begins cor-
responding with a handsome sol-
dier (William Holden). But she
doesn't quite give her pen-pal all
the details — like her real age,
which is considerably younger
than her correspondent believes.
Along the way, we meet "Ruth's"
charming family, who delight in
making anyone say, "tanks," so
they can say, "You're welcome."
(This never fails to leave the fami-
ly laughing hysterically.) This
Thanksgiving, you'll have plenty

—

of opportunity to express your
"tanks," (especially when the day is
over and you no longer have to
play the game). Here are some
questions your children can ask
unsuspecting friends:
"Gosh," you begin. "I keep - forget-
ting, what do you call those con-
tainers for fish ..."
To which they will reply:
"Aquariums?"
"No, you answer, "not aquari-
urns ..."
"Oh," your naive friends call
out. "You mean tanks!"
To which you promptly respond,
"You're welcome!"
#4) The Best Dressed Turkey
When most people hear "dress-
ing" at Thanksgiving, they think of
some kind of food, right? But in this
game what you need to consider is
the cut from Yves St. Laurent, not
Julia Child.
Begin by assembling a collection
of arts-and-crafts supplies such as
construction paper, old magazines,
fake feathers, crayons, etc.
Next, cut out a few turkey shapes,
much as you would paper dolls,

-

from cardboard. Then invite guests
to design a lovely dress or suit for
his or her turkey doll. Don't forget a
fashion show, and first prize for the
best dressed turkey.
#5) It Seems To Me I've Heard
That Song Before
Around the dinner table, come up
with all the songs and stories and
films that mention the word "turkey."
Here are a few memorable ones:
• The angst-ridden Turkey Lurkey
of the Chicken Little saga
• "Turkey in the Straw"
• That horrible line from that horri-
ble movie, Avalon: "You cut the
toikey without me!"
#6) A Funny Tale
Using nothing more than an old
box and construction paper, you
can make a great
centerpiece/game for your
Thanksgiving table. Just turn the box
over and cover it with brown
paper. Ask one of your children to
create a head, then attach. Last, cut
a long slit at the back; this will be
your turkey's tail. Now, take about
10 pieces of paper (more or less,
depending on how many will play