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Remembrances
O f Gift%

DEBRA B. DARVICK
Special to The Jewish News

CO

f all the gifts my husband has
given me over the years, it's not
the sparklies I treasure the most,
although I adore them. Nor is it
the many wonderful books that line the
shelves of my office, though I refer to them
regularly.
Funny enough, the gift I treasure most
exists now only in memory. I used it into
oblivion. Nu? What outshone literary mas-
terpieces and the contents of those wonder-
ful little turquoise boxes tied with white
satin ribbons?
A teapot. A red enamel Copco kettle
bought early in our marriage when we still
lived in New York.
I was fed up with up with winter in
Manhattan even before I stepped off the
curb into an icy lake at the corner of 63rd
and Madison. Fed up long before frozen
subway tracks delayed me an hour to and
from work. Like Alexander in Judith
Viorst's eponymous book, I was ready to
move to Australia. And then, my husband
walked into the house with this red enamel
teapot.

Debra B. Darvick of Birmingham is a free-
lance writer currently working on a non-fic-
tion anthology chronicling the contemporary
American Jewish experience. For information
on the project, visit wwwjewishstories.corn.

Its very color cheered me. Martin's
thoughtfulness warmed me as much as the
numerous cups of tea I eventually brewed
from the pot. I dropped the lid once and
reglued the chip of wood that broke off,
using it another few seasons until I careless-
ly scorched it beyond use. Come spring I
planted the teapot with white geraniums
until it finally rusted away and went to the
great tea cupboard in the sky. I've had many
teapots since then, but the memory of that
red Copco stays with me. It was a perfect
gift.
It's heavy business, this gift giving and
receiving. Tied up with gorgeous bows and
fabulous paper, gifts also can come wrapped
with considerable baggage. "Is the gift the
right thing? Will he like it? What if I don't
like it, do I really have to wear it? Why
should I shop for anything when all she
does is exchange it for something else?"
Most of us strike out at least sometimes in
our lives. And we all receive some clunkers.
We give gifts we'd really like to receive. We
give gifts that come with hidden meanings.
I once read of a mother who gave her
daughter a lifetime membership in Weight
Watchers. How lovely.
Finding the perfect gift is gratifying. It
means we really know the recipients, know
what makes them tick. Receiving that per-
fect gift makes us feel known and loved to
our souls.
Do gifts really matter so very much?
Isn't all the fuss and attention to presents

The meaning f ul
resent depends on the
spirit of the giving.

immature? I wonder that sometimes after
I read the letters from the women in Ann
Landers. You know the ones who say, "I
don't need any gifts from my husband. He
goes to work, cares for me and the chil-
dren; he doesn't go out drinking with the
boys. That's present enough." The woman
seems so virtuous; am I really a greedy
child to love presents? I feel contrite. For
about a nanosecond. And then I
think, "Geez, this lady's doing
the old sour grapes routine in
reverse. I bet she'd just kill
for a great piece of jewelry
or book or snazzy red tea
kettle from her husband."
What's wrong with a token of
appreciation, of love, of affec-
tion once in a while?
Gifts are tangible reminders
of those we love and those
who love us. The antique cloi-
sonne vase my father and step-
mother surprised
me with when I
graduated
from col-
lege.

1111.1:41-3(1011 bV

11/20

1998

314 Detroit Jewish News

Robin Williamson

