Excalibur Presents

Thanksgiving Dinner

Pick-up a complete dinner for 6 to 8 people for '125"

per package + tax

The author's mother's path to conver-
sion is told with clarity, as she was
interviewed extensively. But his father
died when Stephen was 10, and the
reasons for his conversion remain
something of a puzzle.
In the life Paul and Veronica built
together, Catholicism was at the center.
The family held evening rosary on the
front lawn. They had little money, and
their home was one of "Godfulness,"
with a sense of purpose, rightfulness and
safety "In that regard [and that regard
alone]," the former altar boy writes, "our
parents spoiled us: We expected the
world to be as pure as they were."
Dubner recalls that after his father's
death, his mother and her religious
friends would tell him how much God
loved his father to have taken him
from them. That was the moment his
own Catholicism became empty-
hearted. For while I wasn't interested
in blaming God for killing my father,
I certainly wasn't about to thank Him
for it either."
The years between his father's death
and his leaving home for college were
lonely, with his siblings out of the
house. He describes he and his mother
— alone in a house where 10 lived
loudly and joyously — "rattling
around like the last two coins in some
old man's pocket, or maybe God's."
A musician in college, he was
astounded to learn that Bob Dylan was
born Jewish and became a born-again
Christian. He wondered what Dylan
and his father might have had in corn-
mon, and began noticing things Jewish.
When he moved to New York City
in the 1980s, many assumed that the
Semitic-looking Dubner was indeed
Jewish, and he was drawn to learn
about the religion his parents left.
Attending synagogue with a friend,
he was moved, deeply. When the
Torah was walked through the congre-
gation, it was as though something
clicked inside of him. "It is the book
they are venerating here. They are not
eating the Body and drinking the
Blood of the Christ, that sad-faced
messenger and martyr of my youth."
He felt gratefulness, a relief, hope:
"The way a Jew greeted the Torah —
as though it contained everything he
would ever need, everything that had
ever been known and everything that
could never be known."
Dubner accelerated his explorations
of Judaism, both professionally and
personally. While working at New York
magazine, Dubner covered a number
of Jewish stories, leading to work with
Rabbi Simon Jacobson on a book of

the Lubavitcher rebbe's teachings. He
reconnected with relatives of his par-
ents, who embraced him and shared
family stories; he also traveled to
Poland in search of further details.
When asked how he now under-
stands his father's motivations for con-
version, he says, "He fell in love. I really
believe that he fell in love with the idea
of a religion that was a salve to his •
wounds. He had real wounds ... The
Judaism he knew provided no comfort."
It's something the younger Dubner
thinks about all the time. "It's both
frustrating and comforting to know
that I'll never know the answer.
There's a lot of mystery within faith."
He adds that he grew to be very
inspired by his parents as he learned
more about them.
In 1996, Dubner wrote a cover
story for the New York Times
Magazine, "Choosing My Religion,"
in which he began this story. That
article received a tremendous response,
and Dubner heard from many rela-
tives and childhood friends of his
father's who were instrumental in
piecing together his family history.
The article also led to the author's
relationship with Cardinal O'Connor,
who read an excerpt during services
on Good Friday
While his Jewish explorations
brought the author closer to his late
father, it also created strain with his
mother, a passionate Catholic.
Through a consultation with Cardinal
O'Connor, he was able to work out
their conflict. Dubner praises the Car-
dinal for the "mitzvah."
Now, Dubner, who lives on the West
Side of Manhattan, attends various syn-
agogues and studies Judaism in several
settings. He prays "irregularly and
intensively" and finds that it's easier to
pray as a Jew than as a Catholic. Some-
times he thinks of becoming a rabbi.
"I think of myself as an inchoate Jew,
in formation in some ways, particularly
religiously" Quite comfortable in the
Jewish tradition of asking himself ques-
tions and then answering with more
questions, he continues, "Am I a Jew?
Yes. A Jew with complication. What is a
Jew without complication?" 0

Stephen Dubner will speak at
the Jewish Book Fair Sunday,
Nov. 15, at 11 a.m. at the Kahn
Jewish Community Center, and
at 1 p.m. at the Jimmy Prentis
Morris JCC. He is sponsored by
Aish Ha Torah.

Turkey, Traditional Stuffing, Butter Whipped
Potatoes, Sweet Potatoes, Gravy,
Cranberry Relish, Fresh Buttered Green Beans,
Mixed Organic Greens, Rolls and Flat Bread,
Pumpkin Pie & Apple Pie.
Pick-up Between 8 a.m. & 3 p.m.

e x ca l igur

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(248) 358 - 3355

Restaurant Open Thanksgiving Day
2 p.m. to 10 p.m.
Serving our Dinner Menu & Thanksgiving Specials

28875 Franklin Rd. • On the corner of 12 Mile & Northwestern Hwy.

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Hours: Mon.-Thurs., I I a.m.- I 0 p.m., Fri & Sat. I I a.m.- I I p.m., Sun. 12-9 p.m.

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4033 W. 12 MILE, 3 Blks. E. of Greenfield, Berkley

548-3650
DAILY LUNCH & DINNER SPECIALS
PIZZA - RIBS - FISH
SQUARE PIZZA
ROUND PIZZA
HOMEMADE GARLIC BREAD SMALL OR LARGE SMALL - MED - LARGE

ON FOOD PURCHASES

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DINING ROOM, CARRY-OUT

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Not good with any other offer Expires November 30, 1998
Valid Anytime • Dine in Only

Open 7 Days a Week • Serving Beer and Wine

rim ANITA'S kitchen

(248) 855-4150

31005 Orchard Lake Rd., Farmington Hills, MI

11/13
1998
Detroit Jewish News 111