For Openers...

Only

Automobile Problems:
Nuts Behind The Wheel

* You're not gonna check the trunk,
with the driver — a 12-year-old girl.
SY MANELLO
are
you?
She
said
she
had
taken
the
jeep
with-
Editorial Assistant
• Gee, officer, that's terrific. The
out
her
parents'
permission
and
didn't
0
last officer only gave me a warning,
pull over because she was afraid of get-
e here in the Motor City
too!"
ting into trouble.
are acutely
* I bet I could grab that gun before
And
what
about
excuses?
It's
aware of cars in
you
finish writing my ticket."
amazing
how
"creative"
peo-
our lives; you
"
"I pay your salary!"
ple
can
be
in
explaining
AUTO know that!
Try to remember when you are on
their problems:
And how many odd tales
the road that accidents are often
" I thought my window was
of traffic problems can you
caused
by a "mechanical" failure:
down, but I found out it
call to mind? Maybe some of
There's
a problem with the nut behind
wasn't open when I put my
the following will sound
the
wheel.
head through it.
familiar. They have been
* I collided with a stationary
gleaned from our nation's
truck coming the other way.
papers by John "Kato"
SY
MANELLO
* As I approached the inter-
Machay in his Knuckleheads
Editorial
section,
a sign suddenly
In The News.
Assistant
appeared where no stop sign
Police in Natchitoches,
appeared before. I was
La., arrested Simpson
(A little taste of Yiddish.)
unable to stop in time to avoid an
Williams Jr. after he rammed his Mer-
accident.
cedes into a patrol car. When ques-
Oilen gonif Brent dos hind
* My car was legally parked as it
Coned by authorities, Williams said he
A
guilty man is always self-con-
backed
into
the
other
vehicle.
attacked the Chevrolet police cruiser
scious.
And
here's
one
for
X-Files:
because his German car told him to
*
An
invisible
car
came
from
out
of
"kill" an American-made vehicle.
But an innocent man is some-
nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
Police in Toronto arrested a 60-
times hardly conscious.
In addition, consider the following
year-old man on charges of drunk dri-
as some of the worst things you could
ving after he smashed into a patrol car
say to a police officer:
that was parked in front of a local
police station. When questioned, the
man said he had driven to the station
to see if he was "sober enough to
drive."
In Yorba Linda, Calif, a peaceful
Sunday morning was shattered when a
"There are those who see killers of Jews as freedom fighters."
Jeep Cherokee came roaring through
— Palestinian Cabinet member Ziad Abu Zayyad, on why Palestinians
town. Responding to complaints, the
who murder Israelis are not given the death penalty.
police got on the case and caught up
with the speeding vehicle. The driver
"I wish I had never made them."
wasn't about to be captured and elud-
— Michigan gubernatorial candidate Geofirey Fieger, on his comments
(=Thal the patrolmen for 32 miles, leading
two years ago when he compared Orthodox Jews to Nazis.
them on a 90-mile-per-hour chase
along several freeways.
"It is very dangerous territory, but it must be worth the risk."
The excitement came to an end
— Biblical historian Michael Sanders, who is excavating a site
when the Cherokee smashed into the
on the West Bank that he believes is the burial ground of the Ark
side of an apartment building. The
of the Covenant from Solomon's Temple. The area, under control of the
officers cautiously approached the
Palestinian Authority, is a training ground for Hamas terrorists.
vehicle where thy came face to face

Mum

-

Quotables

llowz By You

BY Mendel

THE PRESIDENT ANNOUMCEI7
AMERICA'S NEW "GET TOUGH
WITH TERRORISM' POL-1 C

APPRRENTL.9, iM HIS WAR OM
TERRORISM THE PRESIDENT
WILL C ALL. UPON THE TOUGH EST,
MOST EFFECTIVE AND H I6i L(J
TRAINED GROUP iN TH E
UtUTED STATES - rot7A.

-

BAD AJEWS, JOUR HOLINESS,
THE PRESIDE/UT IS BR IOC 1 NG
(A) NAPAG.SAH

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Don't miss
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EVITA

in the largest
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FOR INFORMATION
CALL:
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28366 Franklin Road
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MICS42o 6

Detroit Jewish News

10/16
1998

5

