EdItoR's NoTe

Jewish Community Center of Metropolitan Detroit

c)

liceece Eiss.6t4te

Delecto,z
-

Don't Say
Don't Tal<

erhaps there are some who
find fasting meaningful, who
find themselves spiritually ful-
filled, closer to God, as they
abstain from such utterly
mundane indulgences like
eating and drinking.
I hate it.
Weeks ahead of each
fast day I feel it looming,
looking over my shoulder.
"Only 16 days until Yom
Kippur," it recently whispered. "Only
15 days, only 14 days, only —"
"All right, already," I said. "Like I
don't know."
And it was a particularly difficult
fast for me this year, though there
are always marked ebbs and flows
of hunger. I find just after lunch most
difficult, and then again around 4
p.m. when I know I have another
four long hours until I can pick up a
Coke and some other scrumptious
junk.
Yes, I know some have elaborate
dinners — thin, delicately sliced lox
and warm bagels — but I grabbed
the first thing I saw: Coke and Chex
Mix.
What made the day bearable
wcs a visit from a friend and neigh-
' bor Gail.
1 I see her often, but rarely visit.
She has three young children, too,
and it's difficult for any busy mom to
find time to just sit and chat.
Gail came by at one of my worst
times, 12:30 p.m., as I was prepar-
ing lunch for my children. Gosh,
4, ► hat American cheese smelled
good. Her children sat with mine
and they all ate, then played in our
basement.
Gail and I visited for awhile, then
she went home and my thoughtful
husband walked from shul to take

care of the children for an hour, so I
could sleep.
Later than day I went to Gail's
house, and our children played in
their back yard. It was so
pleasant; the air had the
wonderful feel and smell of
autumn. It was time for
sweaters.
Gail and I spoke of rais-
ing children and she told me
she wonders why so many
parents and child-care workers
spend a great deal of time telling
children to "ssshhh" or "be quiet."
I have to admit I don't know —
but I have seen it, too, and I don't
like it.
How many times in a day must the
average child hear, "Quiet!" or "Do
you have to talk now?" or worst of
all, "Shut up." Why? Parents say it
so frequently, so casually as though
the mere sound of a child's voice is
like a knife to the skin.
Certainly there are times when a
child needs to be quiet — but not
many.
As I begin a new year, I am
making the effort to be even more
patient with my children as they
ask endless questions and sing to
themselves and babble on. Imag-
ine what I would have missed had
my children not felt free to speak
about anything, anytime: My son
wondering, "Do you think God
gets lonely?" and my daughter
calling her baby sister, "You little
sweetheart." How could silence
ever begin to compare to such
tender words? ❑

Elizabeth Applebaum
AppleTree Editor

ted ► i

and e9
co
it

Choreographed
by Valerie Mould

October 18, 1998 • 4:00 p.m.
D. Dan 8( Betty Kahn Building
Tickets are $11 per person

The Child Development Center
brings Nancy Gurwin's production of Joseph
and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat to
the Jewish Community Center,

Tickets are available by calling (248) 661-7605
or may be purchased at the JCC Child
DeveloOment Center Office (room 248).

Proceeds will provide scholarships to children in
the JCC's preschool programs.

Sponsored by Benard L. Maas Foundation
and the Aaron DeRoy Testamentary Foundation,

10/16
1998

Detroit Jewish News

105