chat rooms boring. But then again,
at a recent singles' event, I met
someone who swears by chat rooms.
This woman claimed she has met
many nice men through the chat
rooms, not by chatting, but by
checking the profiles of the guys
who come into the chat room. If
they pass muster, she sends an
instant message to anyone whose
profile sounds interesting, and takes
it from there.
AOL also offers folders of person-
al ads. You can choose a folder by
state, level of observance or age. I
clicked on the Orthodox folder and
found that most of the posts were
from people outside my home state.
With them I formed some nice
cyber-friendships.
For those of you who don't have
AOL, on the Internet, you can
access the Jewish Singles Connection
search page at w-vvw.thejewishpeo-
ple.org/jsc/search.qry?function=for
m.
If you open www.thejewishpeo-
ple.org/jsc/individualplus.html,
you'll get the main information page
for the Jewish Singles Connection.
It's free, and the ads are personally
compiled, so you read just what the
person wants you to know about
them. Some of the ads are pretty
long.
Here are some other places on the
Web that you might find someone
special:
• Jewish singles travel: www.jew-
ishsinglesscene.com .
• Jewish Quality Singles:
www.jqs.com (This one looked
interesting. There seemed to be
quite a few religiously observant
men, something I didn't notice on a
lot of the other lists.)
• The Jewish Personals:
www.clickil.com or www.jewishper-
sonals.com .
• JDate: www.jdate.com .
(Through Jdate, I met a nice gentle-
man in Chicago, with whom I went
out in July when I was visiting my
brother. These ads used to be free;
due to its growing popularity, how-
ever, the site now charges for
answering an ad. You can narrow
your search by several different crite-
ria.)
No doubt, the Internet has given
new meaning to the phrase "love at
first sight." On the 'net, you can
meet someone who lives 300 miles
away, e-mail back and forth for
months on end — really getting to
know a person before you meet.

10/9
1998

110 Detroit Jewish News

You can learn if they leave the toi-
let seat up, what their favorite food
is or if their favorite fabric is poly-
ester. You can also find out what
they want out of life. Are they look-
ing for a family, or a substitute for
Mommy? Do they drive a Buick, a
BMW, or a station wagon with
80,000 miles on it? Is their defini-

tion of Judaism a family Shabbat
every week, a yearly trip to Israel or
a $500 yearly donation to UJA? Is
dinner usually leftovers, a home-
cooked meal or take out from the
local Chinese restaurant?
While all those things won't
exactly make or break a relationship
(or will they?), you can find out a

lot of things from a long-distance
over-the-Internet relationship. Then,
when you actually meet the person,
the only thing left for you to find
out is whether or not there is chem-
istry between you. And if they mea-
sure up to their online image.
Give it a try. I hope you enjoy it
as much as I have. ❑

Not So Unlucky

LYNNE MEREDITH COHN

Scene Editor

Il

elena Hacker Rosenberg
wanted to get married.
Very much. But before
she knew it, Rosenberg
was in her early 40s and still won-
dering how to find Mr. Right.
"I took stock of my attitudes and
routines and finally began dating
with a purpose and a plan — a
change that coincided with my
renewed interest in Torah and Jewish
learning," says the Los Angeles-
based author. "Soon thereafter, I met
and eventually married my husband,
Charlie."
What worked for Rosenberg is
not such an elusive formula. The
happily married fortysomething
Jewish woman compiled her advice
into a 262-page book, How to Get

Married After 35: A Game Plan for
Love, published in March by
HarperCollins Publishers. It's a
thoughtful look at what Rosenberg
says is "a national dilemma" — how
singles find mates "in these chaotic
times."
Since the book came out,
Rosenberg has been interviewed on
"Good Morning America" and spo-

_ Pulling
from real-life
experiences,
Helena Hacker
Rosenberg
advises single
women how to
get married
after age 35.

ken at Jewish women's programs
about how to resolve the dilemma of
older singles finding their soul mate.
Through this book, she is trying to
eliminate the phrase, "unlucky in
love," from the vocabulary of single
women.
A Hollywood producer turned

relationship consultant, Rosenberg
began professionally counseling
women seeking mates after she and
Charlie married. She teaches
women how to realize romantic
dreams by recognizing the power
they have to shape their own future.
She addresses the six major road-
blocks (like self-regard) to meeting
the right men.
Women need to take an active
stance toward finding a quality mate
in midlife, says Rosenberg, a gradu-
ate of Stanford University and for-
mer vice president of production for
Universal Studios. For example, if a
man says on the first date that he's
not the marrying kind, believe him
and move on, Rosenberg advises.
The book includes:
• An in-depth .75-question per-
sonal profile;
• Tips on how to recognize and
steer clear of Nowhere Men such as
"the broken man," "the crybaby,"
"the phony manipulator," "the dan-
gerous misfit" and "the casanovals
• Alternative methods for meeting
men, such as dating services and
personal ads.
• An approach for "interviewing"
prospective candidates for their mar-
riage potential.

.

❑