COMMUNITY VIEWS

Mothering On Empty

Reflections On The High Holidays

ow many days did you
changed. In the past 12 months, a lot
take off this year?"
had happened. Although the ritual
"I took off both, but
reason for thinking of where you have
my parents only make
been is to ask for forgiveness in order
me go to services on the first."
to be inscribed in the Book of Life for
another year, for a lot of teenagers this
"Wow, you're lucky"
These words have been spoken by
didn't quite cut it. If not for the Lord,
countless teenagers, countless
.then some did it for them-
selves. A little bit of mental
times. By the time late Sep-
housekeeping is good for the
tember rolls around, there
soul. This short break after
are about a thousand differ-
ent things that are on a
school had started was the
teenager's mind other than
ideal time to think about
where you had been, where
the High Holidays. Services
were not exactly the place
you were and where you
were going. If not for the
that your average 16-year-old
sake of housekeeping, then
wanted to spend a day off.
perhaps some teens enjoyed
Every year, however, teens are
DAN
the High Holidays for the
ushered in to "High School
FREEMAN
sake of tradition. For thou--__
Services," where the same
Special to
prayers that they have been
The Jewish News sands of years, the ancestors
of the Jewish people —
memorizing since pre-school
from Poland to Prague, from
roll off their lips effortlessly,
Cairo to California, from Jerusalem to
without thought. What did cross their
Germany — have all spent a day in
minds were thoughts of homecoming
meditation on the past year and a day
-
dates, parties and the review for a
fasting for repentance.
math test that they were missing by
The symbolism behind the apples
being in shul.
and honey is rich. The concept of
There were reasons for being in
hoping for a sweet and good year is
synagogue at the beginning of the
universal. The self-discipline that is
year, however, and for the teens that
taught by not eating or drinking for a
did recognize these reasons, the bene-
period of over 24 hours has helped to
fits were great.
It was the beginning of the year.
build the character of many people
throughout time.
School had started. People had
The celebration of the High Holi-.
Dan Freeman is an 11th grader at
days has come to a close. MO-st teens
North Farmington High School. His
welcomed -fhe'three or four-day week-
family is affiliated with Congregation
Shaarey Zedek.
HOLIDAYS on page 38

.

nalia, "Well, Mom and Dad, I guess this
starts my new life."
When we arrived in front of her
dorm, along with hundreds of other har-
lit the Shabbat candles by myself,
ried parents and anxious freshmen, she
I sang the blessing and glanced at
got out, glanced around, sighed and
the empty table.
hugged me.
Flashback: My three children squirm-
The soft golden glow seemed wrong
ing in their seats at the table, waiting to
— suddenly familiar, yet eerily strange,
be served their favorite dinner of baked
as there were no children's heads for my
chicken, challah, chicken noodle soup
hands to rest upon to bestow the tradi-
and seven-layer cake from the bakery.
tional Jewish blessing.
One week I was too busy to cook and
Seventeen years of making Friday-
there was no soup. My oldest daughter
night dinners in this kitchen, around
actually cried from
this beige Parsons
disappointment.
table, now desolate.
This unique fami-
The original high
ly time, away from
chairs had been
television, friends,
replaced with adult
plans and phone
ones, the wallpaper
calls, was meant to
had changed a couple
be shared, not meant
of times, but it was
for just one or two.
all so familiar, yet, at
My youngest and
the same time, totally
I had been "on our
different.
own" for two years
Earlier that week,
now, as the other
my youngest daugh-
two had already
ter, Beth, wedged
been away at college.
into the back seat of
I knew the time was
her father's car and
Sharon Schwartz (standing)
coming for her to go
left for college. Amid
and her daughter, Beth.
as well, but I wasn't
the boxes, hangers
really
prepared
for
the
empty ache, the
and other dorm necessities, she could
immaculate room and the now silent
barely see out of the windows. Each
phone.
turn of, the car brought wails of protest
Mothers change when their youngest
- as she commented at all of the parapher-
departs — part of them is transformed
irrevocably, broken away. "It will be
Sharon Schwartz teaches at Hillel Day
School of Metropolitan Detroit and lives
MOTHERING on page 38
in Bloomfield Hills.

SHARON SCHWARTZ
Special to The Jewish News •

LETTERS

Those stars are only carried away by
the mitzvot.
DMC/Sinai has gifted the com-
munity with more than $60 million
to enhance thousands of lives
through the Jewish Fund. Our com-
munity will be strengthened for gen-
erations to come.
The stars of Sinai should be
proud of the light they have brought
to so many lives; and we, the Jewish
community, should be proud of the
star that was born in 1953.
With God's help, a strong foun-
dation, and the strength and com-
mitment of the DMC, our future
should be as bright as the promise
God made to Abraham.
Leah Ann Kleinfeldt
Director,
•
Community Programs Development
DMC/Sinai Hospital

10/2

Detroit Jewish News

important for the congregation to
know the rabbi's thinking on an,
important matter like this. I am glad
The Jewish News gave more widespread
The Jewish News did a community ser-
reporting.
vice in reporting on the
Yes, the rabbi is the
status of women at Con-
morah d'atra for the syn-
gregation B'nai Moshe. As
agogue; I feel that con-
a congregant there, I
gregants should respect
myself did not know
this position. It is, there-
whether women could
fore, not appropriate to
count" in the minyan or
comment publicly on
lead services until I active-
the issue as long as
ly asked.
Rabbi Pachter feels it is
While Rabbi Elliot
not in the best interests
Pachter did write his posi-
of the congregation to
tion in the July synagogue
have public meetings
bulletin, I feel that many
and discussion on this.
congregants who do not
Rab bi Elliot Pachter
It is fully appropriate,
regularly read the fuller
however, for members to
bulletin articles may have
let Rabbi Pachter know, on a more
missed this information; plus, it was a
individual and private basis, how they
time of vacations for many. It is

Your Reporting A
Community Service

"

feel about men and women participat-
ing equally in the service — and how
the synagogue should go about decid-
ing on this. It is important for the
rabbi to know what most of his con-
gregants are thinking.
I strongly hope that my fellow
members at B'nai Moshe will take it
upon themselves to inform him of
their thoughts.
Susan Liebowitz
Farmington Hills

Heidelberg
And Me

Many Jewish people adore great art.
We embellish our homes with art
that delights us. Frequently, we study
art. There are those who will even
travel out of the comforts of their