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What Our Neighbors
Learned About Judaism

EVITA

and a tie that hung off to the side. His
school on Saturday mornings. Then,
hair was slicked down.
again,
the
entire
religious
school
consist-
I was calling my wife at
Somewhat shy, but definitely earnest,
ed
of
Douggie.
We
held
class
at
the
desk
work, just after taking my
he approached me with a half-eaten
in
his
bedroom.
Once
in
a
while,
if
they
turn in the lottery that was
latke on his paper plate.
hadn't annoyed us too much
held each spring to determine
"So, Rabbi," he asked, "Can I ask
during our lesson, Douggie's
which rabbinical students at
you a question?" "Of course." "OK," he
5-year-old twin brothers
our Cincinnati seminary
said, "So, ummm, d'ya'all worship the
would be invited in for an
would serve which small con-
puppets every week?"
assembly. Something must
gregations around the country
It was a stellar moment in interfaith
heard,
have
worked.
Last
I
Owensboro was my first
understanding. ❑
Douggie was president of a
choice, and since I was about
synagogue near Dallas.
to enter my final year at the
For Chanukah, I pulled
school, I had enough seniority
out all the stops, creating a lit-
to land this plum.
tle show starring my favorite
I really wanted Owensboro.
RABBI BOB
hand puppet from "Sesame
Not just because my previous
ALPER
Street," the Cookie Monster. I
assignment, Williamson,
by Martha Jo Fleischmann
could do a fairly accurate
Special to
W.Va., entailed perilous
vocal imitation of him. On
The
Jewish
News
mountain drives through
There once was a chicken named
that Shabbat evening, I clever-
appropriately named towns
Doris
ly renamed him "The Candle Monster."
like Crum and Saltpeter. Not solely
Who
wept,
'Are we ever aff
It was a sweet little event. Douggie, his
because Owensboro was the home of
tsoris!*
brothers, and three or four other pre-
the world's largest sassafras tree. And cer-
With yontif' at hand,
schoolers, had a marvelous time watch-
tainly not because that small Kentucky
Each hen in the land
ing as I stooped behind my lectern and
city was the scene of the last public exe-
Won't rest 'til you've all shlugt
put
on
a
10-minute
playlet
with
voices
cution in America, when 20,000 public-
kaporisr***
and music, a menorah and a dreidel
spirited citizens turned out for a public
and, naturally, the lesson of Chanukah
hanging in 1936. Nope, there were
* in trouble
interwoven.
more important reasons. Such as the
**
the holiday
Problem was, that night was the first
really neat, round motel and its pretty
***
performed
the expiation ritual
and only time a visiting church group
decent restaurant.
of
swinging
a
live
chicken above
came to services, a bit late and unan-
Plus, of course, a mostly lovely, dedi-
one's
head
to
transfer
one's sins to
nounced. Uh-oh. I'll never forget the
cated little Jewish community that met
the bird the day before Yom Kip-
Chanukah
reception
that
followed.
He
in a charming, century-old wooden syn-
pur.
was probably 15, a tall, lanky kid wear-
agogue. Services, counseling and teach-
ing a white shirt with a collar too large
ing: I did it all. But it was my frequent
Friday afternoon tangle with the build-
ing's heating system that stood out as
my year's major challenge.
Quite frankly, with a senior thesis in
progress and a first baby on the way, I
was pleased than my twice-monthly visits
"There isn't a single person in the State Department that hasn't tapped me on
didn't require too much preparation. I
the shoulder and said, 'Thank you.' It reminds me of the good old days of
conducted Friday evening services, of
Israel's restraint in the Gulf war."
course. And I taught the entire religious
— Zalman Shoval, Israel's incoming ambassador to the U.S., on his

G

reat news! I got Owensboro!"

Thursday,
November 5
Masonic Theatre
8:oo p.m.

Yiddish Limiricks

quotables

nation's role in the search and rescue efforts following the terrorist bomb-
ings of U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania.

Rabbi Bob Alper is a standup comic
and author.

llowz By You

I'M LOAPIN6-UP
ou 9oimG, ON CRRf3oHY2RATES
i7APPT? BECAUSE TONIGHT IS
KoL +VIVRE AND 1•11.
13C FASTING ALL PPM
TOMORROW

Huge% I f-IAR121. THINK...

BoT PA17py,I HEARD ABOUT A
KM?' OF FOOD THAT 9ou CAN
EAT DURING
QOM KIPPUR

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