RABBI ARTHUR WASKOW
and PHYLLIS BERMAN
Special to The Jewish News
s summer began, we stood at
the heights of Sinai, hearing
God's voice on Shavuot. As
summer ends, we stand at
the birthday of the world, the renewal
of our lives, at Rosh Hashanah.
In the sacred Jewish calendar, there
lies between them a day of mourning
and despair. We do not move from
one peak to another. Only by
descending into burning guilt and
thirsty sorrow — Tisha B'Av, the day
of knowing that through our own sins
our holy place has been destroyed —
do we rise to the renewing of the year.
Only then can we drink again from
the wellsprings of renewal, washing
away cynicism, guilt, arrogance,
despair, hatred, fear. Renewing clarity,
hope, mentshlich acts of decency, dig-
nity, self-respect.
Why must we live through this
rhythm, this wave of deadly sorrow
and new life?
Not only in the large steps of the
calendar, but in the intimate steps of
our own lives, we walk this rhythm.
From misdeed to forgiveness, from
sullen depression to acts of self-trans-
formation: How do we actually bring
about the renewal that we seek?
Encoded in some of the prayers and
practices and Torah readings of the
High Holy Days are hints and guides
and recipes; but only that. Rabbi
Zalman Schachter-Shalomi has point-
ed out: As a cookbook is not the food
but a set of directions for how to cook
— so the prayerbook is not prayer but
a set of hints for how to pray.
Eating the cookbook would give us
neither delight nor nourishment; nei-
ther does praying the prayerbook.
We must lift these recipes off the
page, add the heat of passion and the
water of our tears and the individual
spices that speak to our own souls.
We can add to the cookbook our
own recipes, even our own foods and
dishes. Especially in a generation of
Jews who are used to psychotherapy
and gestalt exercises. This is a genera-
what are our mistakes? Cheshbon
hanefesh, the tradition calls it: a per-
sonal accounting.
• * We want to draw on the "surplus
love" available in the universe to for-
give ourselves for our mistakes and in
the same breath actually turn our
energies to living out our best vision
of ourselves. Tshuvah and slichah —
returning and forgiving. Both are nec-
essary, and intertwined: Choosing one
without the other doesn't work.
Freezing ourselves to our guilt
over what we did last year
keeps us stuck.
* We want to forgive others
for their mistakes — not only
to give them a fresh start, but
to give ourselves a fresh start.
Bitterness is a foul taste to
carry in the mouth forever;
and only forgiveness can wash
4- k
-
it away.
The tradition begins
"revving up" with Selichot,
"forgiving," before Rosh
Hashanah. Whether or not
your own synagogue or havu-
rah formally gathers for this
purpose, you can do it yourself
in a way that may enrich the
traditional Selichot service; it
may work better for you than
prayers from a book.
Gather friends and family.
Sit in a circle or horseshoe,
where all of you can see each
other. Supply each person with
a sheet of paper and a pen
with water-soluble ink. In the
center, place a large transparent
bowl of strongly salted (bitter)
water.
After a few songs and
chants — perhaps one based
on Shavtem mayyim b'sasson,
minay'nei
hayeshua — "Draw waters
God, or call it the love that flows from
in joy from the well-springs of renew-
other human beings, or call it our own
al" — and after serious, silent focus-
deepest strength: what we call it is less
ing by all in the circle, each person
important than knowing it is there.
uses the water-soluble pen to write on
* We want to honestly examine
the paper no more than three or four
ourselves in the light of that highest
words
that evoke his/her most obsti-
vision of the people we could be: our-
nate
misdeed-behavior
patterns;
selves as individuals, as a community,
When
each
person
is
ready, one by
as a society. What have been our
one,
each
carries
the
sheet
of misdeeds
strengths in embodying that vision,
tion for whom the body, the emotions
and the spirit are coming back as
sacred. For this generation, sitting qui-
etly to hear someone else read from a
book or a scroll will not bring about
renewal.
What do we want to accomplish
during these days?
* We want to fulfill our potential
for good. We want to see the universe
as filled with encouragement and help
for doing that — call that assistance
t th e
tt ars- a
to the bowl of bitter waters that has
been placed in the center of the circle.
Each plunges the paper into the
water, watches for a minute or two as
the ink dissolves into the water and
goes back to sit down.
When all have done this, and have
seen each other struggle with silently
naming and dissolving their own mis-
deeds, pairs of people use one of a
number of other bowls of water —
unsalted, fresh water, perhaps with a
drop or two of aromatic rose water —
that have been placed around the
perimeter of the circle, to wash and
dry each other's hands.
All chant a selichot verse from the
Torah and the prayerbook, a line that
God says to Moses: Salachti kdvarecha
— "I have forgiven in the very process
of your asking."
What does this ceremony accom-
plish? We have seen it move people
enormously. First, because they them-
selves are grappling with the first
stages of identifying their misdeeds;
and secondly, because they can see
that others are doing so as well.
Thirdly, they see the dissolution of the
ink as symbolic of the hoped-for dis-
solution of their misdeeds.
It is the act of tshuvah, turning
toward a truer path, both in one's self
and in others, that fuses with forgiving
both others and one's self.
What makes possible this first step
in both "turning" and "forgiving" is
that it makes literally tangible, touch-
able the "surplus love" that we wistful-
ly hope for in the universe. The tradi-
tion reminds us that on these days,
God writes our assessments in the
Book of Life; that on these days God
washes us clean of our misdeeds.
Through this form of selichot, ours
become the hands that write in the
Book of Life; ours become the hands
that wash away the shmutz of unfair
actions. What other hands will do it?
One by one, we visit or call our
intimates, and those not so intimate,
whom we know or suspect we have
offended. When we know, we say so:
"I have done this to you. I am sorry.
What can I do to right this wrong?"
When we are not sure, we say: "I am
(Jewish. Lights, Woodstock, Vt.), "Seasons of Our Joy" (Beacon) and "Down-to-Earth Judaism" (Morrow). He's
Rabbi Waskow is the author of "Godwrestling — Round 2"
director of the Shalom Center, a nationwide network with offices in Philadelphia. Phyllis Berman is co-director of Elat Chayyim, the Jewish renewal retreat center in the
Hudson Valley in New York. She co-author of "Tales of Tikkun" (Jason Aronson).
9/18
1996
Detroit Jewish News
45