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One of you is Jewish, the other
is not. Together, the two of you
created a beautiful child. Now he's of an
age to begin religious education and you've
got a decisiQn to make. Listen to what
some adult children of intermarriage say:
• "I'm half and half and on the
fringes of things:
• "It's not like being a Republican
or Democrat. Every day, some-
thing arises that reminds me that
I'm split".
• "I felt like nothing:
Don't let that special something grow
up to feel like a nothing.

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1998
100 Detroit Jewish News

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Make 'Em Laugh

en years ago, a call like this
would have left me depressed
for days.
What you did deeply offended
me! I am very, very upset — in fact,
I am outraged ..."
But these days, to be honest, I
: can't lose any sleep over it.
So she didn't like what I wrote
(and trust me — it was so silly you
wouldn't believe me if I told
you). So she was bothered.
I mean, I don't want to
intentionally hurt anyone's
feelings or do anything that
would trouble someone. But
over the years, I have
learned that there's not much
in life that deserves our utter ranting
and raving.
I've seen a lot of things in news-
papers, on TV, in magazines I don't
like, and I've been troubled by it.
But "deeply offended" and "out-
raged"? This is a phrase I would
reserve for the recent bombing in
Northern Ireland, for example. That
human beings could plot such a
brutal, devastating attack -- that is
something about which we should
be outraged.
Of course, this woman who
called ,me is hardly alone. And in
some ways, I myself was like this
many years ago. But now, thank
goodness, I have come to see the
value of not taking myself too seri-
ously. How much nicer — not to
mention easier — it has made liv-
ing. I don't have to be outraged at
everything! I don't have to make a
statement (like pouting or whining
or indulging in my favorite pastime,
the silent treatment) every time
someone does something that hurts
my feelings! And above all, I no
longer lay claim to that most obnox-
ious of human traits: self-impor-
tance. Whenever I finally, finally
realize some gem about life, I make
it a point to incorporate it into my

parenting. Consequently, I am work-
ing each day with my children to
help them understand that while
they are the center of my world (so
they will gain self-confidence), they
better have a sense of humor about
life (so they will not become arro-
gant).
One of the ways I help them learn
this lesson is through role playing,
in which I ask the children
to act as themselves.
"Let's pretend it's bed
time," I begin. "What do
you think you'll say?
Maybe, 'Okay, Mommy, I'll
get my pajamas on and go
to sleep right away!' Is that
what you'll say, Yitz?"
"No, of course not, Mommy," 4-
almost-5-year-old Yitzhak will say,
laughing. And then he'll fall on th
floor and start whining and whim-
pering and cry, "I am NOT going
to bed! I'm NOT! I'm NOT!"
Moments later he'll jump up and
ask, "How was that?"
"Excellent!" I commend him. "You
deserve an Academy Award!"
For many months now, I have
been encouraging my children to
look with humor at themselves. My
husband and I make it a point of
regularly poking fun of ourselves,
too. And no, it does not make our
children lose respect for us; on the
contrary, they respect us all the
more for letting them see that we
recognize our mistakes, and that
we know how to get up and move
on with life.
Best of all, having a sense of humor
about ourselves means that at least
once each day we will all have a
great laugh. And I love the sound of
a home filled with laughter. 111

Elizabeth Applebaum
AppleTree Editor