JUST THE
RIGHT SIZE!
Congregation B'nai Moshe
is small enough to be your family,
yet large enough to meet your needs.
T
Adhering to the principles of Conservative Judaism,
B' nai Moshe offers 'a friendly, participatory Shabbat
morning service and a daily minyan, along with unique
educational and social programs for the entire family
Coogregatioo
D t Pai
248.788.0600 • 6800 Drake Road • West Bloomfield
Call about our new member 2 for 1
or 1/2 Price specials
PLIUMBROOK MOBILITY C I
I
• ' rk,rog
• No Digging
• Rentals & Sales
• Adjustable Aluminum Support Assembly
NOW
AVAILABLE
AT
PLUMBROOKI
AMU&
Scooters
Children Need
Help With Change
AMY KOLZOW
Special to The Jewish News
In fact, B'nai Moshe will exceed your expectations
BY
PLUMBESL OOK I
/Health
• Anti-Slip
• Quick Setup
LET US HELP MAKE LIFE
EASIER WITH SIMPLE
HOME MODIFICATIONS
• Grab Bars & Accessories
• Bathroom Modifications
• Ramps
• Doorways
These simple, inexpensive changes can
help create greater independence.
Authorized D.M.E. Supplier for American Cancer Society of S.E. Michigan
a CALL TOLL FREE (13813) 337-1122
We Bill
Most
Insurance
Companies
Laurel A. Sills. Ps .D.
Fully Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Self-esteem, Sexuality & Couples Communication, EMIR
Panic Attacks, Depression, Grief, Loss & Chronic Pain
Short-term Therapy
with Long-term Results!
Evening Flours Available
248-788-4230
14 Mile & Franklin (1 Mile West of Telegraph)
he life of a child seems to be
the exact opposite of an
adult's life in many areas.
Kids go to school; adults
go to work.
Kids play on swing sets; adults
build them.
Kids have small feet; adults have
big ones.
But when it comes to the effects of
stress and coping with change, how-
ever, this mirroring theory doesn't
hold true.
"Children experience loss, depres-
sion and stress just the same as
adults," said Sue Burch a child psy-
chology teacher at Waubonsee Com-
munity College in
Illinois. "Sometimes
because of lesser
verbal skills and a
lower level of
awareness, the
process of grief
related to change
can be even worse
for children."
Friends moving
away or starting
classes in a new
school district, the
loss of a parent
from either death
or divorce, new
teachers, or the loss
of a pet or loved
toy — these
changes can be ter-
ribly traumatic for a
child.
The worse thing a parent can do
is belittle a child's feelings," said
Burch. "You should talk with your
children and try to understand their
feelings. They can't always put things
in the same perspective as an adult
who has so much more life experi-
ence. To a child who has just lost a
favorite teddy bear, it can really seem
like the end of the world because this
could easily be the worst the experi-
ence of their life so far."
How you help a child cope with
change depends on his or her age.
For preschool age children, Burch
recommends answering their ques-
tions as openly and honestly as possi-
ble.
"Children at a very young age tend
to think that something they did
caused the change," she said. "They
Amy Kozlow writes for Copley News
Service.
8/28
1998
U0 Detroit Jewish News
think things like, Daddy went away
because I was bad and if I would have
been good, he wouldn't have gone,' or
`If I would have listened to the
teacher, I would have been able to
stay at my school.'"
Children of school age, especially
in the pre and early teens, are most
affected by change. They also need
honestly presented information and
reassurance, but this can be harder to
deliver.
"Find a way to involve school-age
children in the change to make it
more positive," said Burch, suggesting
that they help pick out paint colors
for their new bedroom, or create a
special system of communication
with a parent who is no longer pre-
sent every day.
By the time chil-
dren reach high
school, change still
takes a toll, but
they usually have
the coping skills
to deal with the
events in a more
adult-like manner.
Sound reasoning
and discussions
are usually the
best tools, said
Burch.
"It probably
doesn't matter
what you do,
because teens will
usually be angry,"
said Susanne
Smith, executive
director of the
Marie Wilkinson Child Development
Center in Aurora, Ill. "I think the
best you can do is explain the.situa-
Lion and let it go at that."
No matter what the age, Smith
said that parents have to remember
that children often understand more
then they are given credit for.
"If you tell them honestly what
happened in words they can under-
stand, they'll probably understand,"
said Smith. "The key is listening to
what they tell you You can gauge
how your child deals with change by
their questions and comments."
Anything that disrupts the life of a
young student can be traumatic.
Some of the most drastic changes
may be realized in the areas of acade-
mics.
At Hill Middle School in Illinois,
Principal Michael Raczak said new
students ger a lot of attention, even
before they are officially enrolled, to
help lessen the stress of change.