Joined At The Ankles

Wearing your feelings where everyone can see.

EMILY SPILKO
Special to The Jewish News

1.1

our years ago, my boyfriend
and I came home from col-
lege to celebrate Rosh
Hashanah with our families.
I attended the State University of New
York in Albany, and Syracuse
University was Seth's stomping
ground. We were separated by hun-
dreds of miles for a good part of the
year, so I cherished our
all-too-rare weekends
together.
My eyes lit up
when Seth walked into
my house that Friday
night. "I have some-
thing to tell you,"
he said with a look
in his eyes that I
didn't recognize. He's
dumping me, I thought.
I knew I nagged him too
much. Why did I try to
dress him? After all, those acid-washed
jeans weren't so bad.
Before I could come up with
another ridiculous thought, Seth
rolled up the cuff of his pants and
revealed a tattoo on his right ankle. It
was the Star of David, and my name
decorated the center. My jaw hit the
floor. "You're nuts," I said trying to
rub it off with my thumb in disbelief.
He just smiled, and we hugged each
other. I guess I was off-target with the
break-up scenario.
I didn't know what to think. Not
only was Seth going to be branded
with my name for the rest of his life,
but he had gone beyond the barriers
of Judaism. Tattoos are expressly pro-
hibited by the Torah, which considers
the human body to be on loan from
God, and so not ours to change or
mutilate in any way. And, of course,
they were the symbols of the Nazi
concentration camps.
I was curious about why Seth went
ahead and permanently marked his
skin with both a symbol of his love for
me, and apparently a sign of his deep
belief in Judaism. Sort of.
When I asked him why he chose a
Jewish star, he said, "I didn't want to

Emily Spilko is a writer in New York.

8/14
1998

62 Detroit Jewish News

get a tattoo just for the moment. I
thought about it for a long time, and
it's meaningful to me."
OK, so he's a cultural Jew more
than religious one. Now, I under-
stood.
My family isn't very religious. I
never go through a Passover seder
without devouring a few matzah balls
and getting $10 for finding the
afikomen, but I haven't been to temple
much since my bat mitzvah,
either. I am not a devout fol-
lower of the religion;
yet, being Jewish is
an important part of
who I am. Maybe
that's because from
as far back as I can
remember, my
mother has been
telling me that I'd
"better marry a
Jew."
Seriously, though, I
think it's more than guilt
and my mother's ranting. I
feel a connection. Whether I'm belting
out "Hava Nagila" with a group of
friends or playing "Jewish geography"
with someone I've never met, I feel a
strong sense of belonging. It's my
community
I am proud of where my people
have come from and what they have
accomplished, the persecution they
overcame, the oppression they've
moved beyond. I recently went to see .
the The Diary of Anne Frank" on
Broadway, and no matter how many
times I hear the familiar story or
imagine the torture they endured, my
eyes swell with hot tears. Their bravery
was unbelievable, and I walked out of
the theater feeling a sense of pride.
Those were my people.
The day after Seth unveiled his tat-
too, I decided that I wanted to get a
matching one. We were both broke
college kids at the time, so it was a
feat in itself to get $50 together, espe-
cially since I wasn't about to ask my
parents for a couple of bucks to deface
my body. I knew they wouldn't
approve.
So, we pooled our funds, including
change from under the couch cush-
ions, and we headed off to Lou's
Tattoo Parlor. About an hour later, I

walked out with a vibrant, indigo Star
of David on my right ankle.
I decided against adorning it with
Seth's name. I was in love, not crazy.
And besides - given its rich history, I
know Judaism will endure. Although
I'd love to be proven wrong, I can't
necessarily say the same for our rela-
tionship.
Seth and I have been together for
five years now. I think of our tattoos
as a symbol of our love for each other
and for our heritage. When we're
apart, I simply pull down my sock,
look at my tattoo, and it brings me
closer to him.
Some people can't believe that we
have them. "it's so sacrilegious," they
sneer. I simply smile and shrug my
shoulders. I believe the opposite is
true. Judaism is a part of me that I
want the world to know about. Many
of us carry our faith within us wherev-
er we go - I just tote it around on the
outside, too.

SIMILES TILAVEL

SEPTEMBER

Sept. 1-8, 14-21

Bicycling tour, Tuscany, Italy, with
Historical Cycling International.
Moderate ride, rolling terrain, 15-39
miles per day. (714) 499-0342, email:
cycling@gte.net.

Sept. 4-7

Canoeing down the Au Sable River
with Tamarack Adult Adventures. (248)
661-0600.

OCTOBER

Oct. 6-13

Morocco - Rabat, Meknes, Fez,
Marrakesh and Casablanca with
Premier Jewish Singles. Cost: $1,695.
(800) 444-9250.

Oct. 21-27, Oct. 28-Nov. 3

Bicycling tour, the Antebellum South,
Mississippi. Easy ride, flat with some
gently rolling terrain, 15-45 miles per
day. Historical Cycling International.
(714) 499-0342, email:
cycl i ng@gte. net.

RAPPININOS

Sunday, Aug. 16

Slip slidin' away at Four Bears
Water Park, Hillel of Metro
Detroit. 12 p.m. Cost: $5. (313)
577-3459.

Reggae on the River, fund-raiser for
Fanclub Foundation for the Arts.
4:30 p.m. On the deck of the
Roostertail, 1 mile east of the Belle
Isle Bridge, off Jefferson Ave. Live
music by Trinidad Tripoli Steel
Band. Cost: $35 general admission,
$30 members. (248) 559-1645.

Streetcorner - music from the `50s
and '60s, concert sponsored by the
Neighborhood Project. 3 p.m.
Inglenook Park, W 12 Mile Road,
between Lahser and Evergreen.
(248) 967-1112.

Thursday, Aug. 20

"Everything you want to know
about nutrition, diet, vitamins &
their interactions." 7:30 p.m.
Sponsored by the Singles Extension
Group, held at Temple Israel.
Shirley Wine, (248) 682-3181.

Aug. 21-22

Pumpstock 1998: An outdoor
music festival held behind the
Town Pump Tavern (100 W.
Montcalm, Detroit). 5 p.m.-mid-
night Friday, noon-midnight
Saturday. Featuring Thornetta
Davis, Jazzhead, Black Beauty,
Marooned, GRR and more.

Tuesday, Aug. 25

Annual Detroit River boat cruise,
sponsored by the Federation's
Young Adult Division. Board the
Diamond Belle Riverboat at 7
p.m., depart 7:30 p.m. from the St.
Aubin Park dock. Tickets must be
purchased by Thursday Aug. 20.
C
14o5s8t:. $15. Marc Berke, (248) 203-

Thursday, Aug. 27

Israel Bonds' King David Society
Summer Gala honoring Cheryl and
Steven Schanes. 7 p.m. Celebrate
Israel's 50th with food, friends and
fun, at the Kingsley Inn. $75 con-
vert per person. RSVP by Aug. 21,
Israel Bonds, 29201 Telegraph Rd.,
Suite 324, Southfield, Mich. 48034

