A Walk On The Singles' Side
Striking a balance between hippie folks and a Jewish self
the melodies never changed. My par-
ents, who met on a picket line, had not
been to synagogue in years and didn't
know what to make of my new-found
Los Angeles (JTA)
Jewishness.
he Synergy School was fine
"She says she wants to have a bat
for me for awhile.
mitzvah," my mother whispered to my
We called our teachers
father over the phone. "No, I don't
"Rusty" and "Kathy" learned
think you have to wear a suit. Maybe a
macrame and group poetry and signed
turtleneck."
"agreements" that we wouldn't "hurt
Perhaps it was my craving for rules to
each other's feelings."
follow, or the "Diary of Anne Frank," or
It was 1979. My mother was
my brilliant English teacher who made
penning her hair into an Afro, wearing
me fall in love with Atticus Finch in "To
her knee-high Frye boots and hoping
Kill a Mockingbird." -I wanted to be part
her daughter's creativity wouldn't be
of this world. And that meant having a
squelched by "the system" and its public
bat mitzvah. Who were my parents to
schools. In fifth grade, I rebelled, beg-
oppress my religious freedom?
ging my mother for a school with desks
But I knew a Strasser party would
and grades. We compromised on
look nothing like the catered affairs to
Brandeis Hillel Day School, a small but
which I had sometimes been invited,
studious Jewish institution in San
celebrated in the domed majesty of
Francisco's Pacific Heights.
Sherith Israel.
And that's how I ended up celebrat-
It was either risk the humiliation of
ing my bat mitzvah in a Haight Street
introducing my Brandeis friends to my
coffee shop. But I'll get to that later.
parents and their bizarre coterie of lov-
One day, during a class loosely titled
able but freaky associates, or skip the rite
"math," I decided I was angry and frus-
of passage entirely. I chose to risk it.
trated at fractions. And like all feelings,
On the upside, I never worried much
that was okay at Synergy. I took the
about learning my Torah portion, which
pink plastic triangles intended to teach
most Jewish preteens sweat over for
abstract mathematical concepts and
months. Who had time? Leaving an
instead made a collage by affixing the
organizational matter up to my mother
teaching tools to a large piece of card-
— who accumulated stacks of unan-
board with Elmer's Glue.
swered mail and bills like some people
"That's beautiful," said Rusty,
collect glass chachkas — was worrisome
stroking his red beard. "Let's share it
enough.
with Kathy" It was just the sort of thing
In her own hippie way, though, she
that would never happen at Brandeis.
actually kind of "got it together."
While I didn't know cursive writing
She made two cakes so that only half
or basic geography, how I loved the sud-
of the guests had to be subjected to that
den introduction of structure! Desks!
insidious substance known as carob. She
Quizzes in which certain kinds of writ-
decorated the coffee shop she owned,
ing utensils were required! Homework!
Sacred Grounds Cafe in the Haight, so
States and capitals!
that it looked almost quaint.
Judaic studies and Hebrew classes
Despite her derision for things pink,
appealed to this thirst for order. To my
she hung salmon-colored streamers
parents' surprise, I began bringing home
around the place, as per my wishes, and
my worn prayer book every Friday night
put out trays of both bagels and lox and
for private Shabbat services with my
sprout-laden veggie finger sandwiches.
teddy bear Gus, who had undergone a
She wouldn't shave her armpit hair but
spiritual metamorphosis since my
agreed to wear a shirt with sleeves, as
Synergy days.
well as stockings and even low heels
While my classmates dreaded weekly
instead of Frye boots or sandals .
prayers in Congregation Sherith Israel's
My classmates, most of whom had
small chapel next door to Brandeis, I
never been to the Haight, seemed to
loved them. You could learn the order of adjust to the smattering of crazy hippies
the songs, memorize the words — and
and over-the-top-even-for-Jews insane
relatives. They tried carob and sprouts.
Teresa Strasser is a 20-something writer
They ran through the kitchen and said,
and performer living in Los Angeles.
ERESA STRASSER
Special to The Jewish News
T
8/7
1998
64 Detroit Jewish News
"Your mom owns this? Can you eat
whatever you want? Cool."
In pictures of the party, the kids all
have wide smiles, the food has been
devoured, everyone looks happy. Even
my mother, in her toned-down attire,
has a nervous grin.
She didn't understand the ceremony
or the prayers I led for the first time, but
some deeply rooted, Jungian-collective-
Jewish-unconscious thing came out and
made her eyes sprout tears in a proud
Jewish mom kind of way.
That was her daughter up there,
wearing a pink and white frothy Gunne
Sax dress and earnestly pronouncing
words in a foreign language.
I was proud, too. I knew I could
never be one of the perfectly polished
Brandeis girls whose fathers picked them
up from school in a Volvo, but I had fit
myself into this new Jewish world in my
own way.
In the Jewish tradition, I had passed
from one stage of life to the other. It
may sound like a bad voice-over from
"The Wonder Years," but that day start-
ed a struggle for balance in my life that
has been excruciating at times but
invaluable ever since.
❑
Real Estate Tip of the Month
Buying a home may make economic sense
even for younger adults.
MARC KOGAN
Special to the Jewish News
s a young adult, you've
probably heard that home
ownership is reaching
record proportions across
the state. But you're wondering if it
makes sense to buy now considering
the following scenarios:
You're single and plan on moving
when you get married, or you're currently
married and your employer has spoken
about transferring you to a different city
in the fitture.
I had a client who rented for seven
years at $700 a month until he got
married. He paid $58,800 in rent over
that period and gained no equity.
Equity is defined as the propor-
tion of the home that you own. For
example, if you bought a home for
$50,000 and put $2,500 down, you
have $2,500 in equity. If, one year
later, the home appreciated by 5 per-
cent, then you now have $5,000 in
equity - you just doubled your
money in one year. (Over the last
two years, homes in Oak Park and
Southfield have appreciated, on aver-
age, 12.5 percent per year!)
Marc B. Kogan is a loan officer
with Capital Mortgage Funding in
Southfield.
You currently live from paycheck to
paycheck and you are wondering how in
the world you can afford a down pay-
ment on a home.
Some mortgages requke only a
minimal down payment, which can
come as a gift from a parent, relative
or close friend. Furthermore, a parent
or relative who will not be living in
the home can co-sign if you cannot
qualify alone.
You want to live in a certain neigh-
borhood and are planning to rent until
you can afford to move into the home
you want.
If you buy a home in your second
or third choice neighborhood, you can
begin gaining home equity and when
you sell that home, you will have
more money to move into your first
choice area This will likely get you
into your first choice home sooner.
Of course, there are always advan-
tages to renting --- like little to no
responsibility for repairs and mainte-
nance. But the rent payment can
increase with no increase in equity.
If you buy, your equity will likely
grow over the years, you'll have more
flexibility in decorating, painting or
otherwise making the home your own,
and a large portion of the mortgage
payment is tax-deductible. Li
This information is not necessarily the
opinion of The Jewish News.
,:-/