The Key To
lia131M1S,
Ever After

4

Good marriages take work.
Here's how
some couples succeed.

MARCELA KOGAN

Special to The Jewish News

W

hen Judith Wallerstein
talks about the 50 happi-
ly married couples she
interviewed for a recent
study, her voice is dreamy, full of hope
and promise for an institution that
cynics loudly say no longer works.
Wallerstein says the interviews con-
vinced her that the cynics are wrong
and that good marriages are possible if
people make the relationship a priority
and develop the skills to interact with
each other more effectively. She says
couples can live happily ever after if
they work hard at keeping the mar-
riage alive, if they learn to deal with
conflict and if each partner adjusts to
living with the other person.
"What every good marriage depends
on is a good fit," she says, "a fit
between the hope, expectations and
fantasy that each partner has.
The fit doesn't happen in the first
date or year, but it's something they
work on throughout their lives. This is
what a working marriage is all about."
Wallerstein, the author of the recent-
ly published The Good Marriage, isn't
the only one breathing hopefully about
the state of marriage. Jewish social ser-
vice agencies and other organizations
across the country are offering courses
to help newly married, engaged and
other couples develop skills that will
make their marriages last.
In Los Angeles, Baltimore,
Philadelphia and other cities, thou-

7/31
1998

60 Detroit Jewish News