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Mon.-Sat. 10-5, 'Thur. til 7 (248) 681-5424 ay back in the early West Bank and Gaza Strip pending 1990s, .a colleague the outcome of the permanent status likened then-Israeli negotiations (Article XXXI(7))." Prime Minister Yitzhak Now I'm not into unilateral Israel Shamir to a grouchy old uncle. You bashing. The Palestinian Authority, loved him, but he kept as is documented, trans- embarrassing you publicly gresses by vastly exceeding with caustic, albeit honest, the number of policemen remarks. and weapons, employs con- You know the type. "Rose, victed murderers of Jews, you put on more weight? and has engaged in signifi- Maybe that's why Sollie does- cant West Bank building, n't look at you no more." In which changes the area's Shamir's case, it went like status. this: "Who cares what Presi- But it was Bibi who dent Bush thinks? No Penta- stood at a Sunday press gon pishers are going to push conference declaring that NEIL RUBIN around the Jews!" this was an "internal Israeli Special to Enter Binyamin The Jewish News matter, not a matter Netanyahu, too young to be requiring a diplomatic an uncle, so perhaps a report." Most amusing was cousin. that he didn't burst out laughing. Like most American Jews, I root So Bibi, take some advice from an for him in his declared quest of American cousin. bringing "peace with security." But Privately go to Arafat — a crook, my support is strained these days. liar and murderer, but a guy nicer This week, the man known to the than Hamas-inspired bus bombers. world as Bibi did it again. He could Look him in the eye and say, "We all have rejuvenated the peace talks, but know you'll get your Palestinian state wound up encouraging an already with a capital building in the eager world to gang up on Israel. Jerusalem suburb of Abu Dis, which I've always advocated for the you're already building anyway. We Rabin-Peres-launched peace initia- won't give you full diplomatic recog- tive. Its successful fruition, I believe, nition, but who cares? Our will enable Jews to stop focusing on economies will be too inter-depen- irrelevant military maps and turn dent to be separate. toward spiritual matters. And I 'We're announcing the expansion of believe that ruling the lives of more Jerusalem's boundaries westward and than 1.5 million Palestinians cor- incorporating some West Bank Jewish rupts Jewish values, sucking energy towns, which you were going to let needed to redefine Jewish identity, Rabin and Peres do anyway. Then an effort that must embrace Israel's we're redrawing the city's borders, central role in Jewish life. which have never been fully defined. So upon reading this week's head- We'll take out most of east Jerusalem's lines, I groaned, "Oy Bibi, not Arab neighborhoods and surrounding again." villages, which you can call Al Quds Sunday, the Israeli cabinet unani- (Jerusalem in Arabic). They'll be joint- mously agreed to increase Jerusalem's ly patrolled by our forces, just like in size by about 50 percent. On the sur- the rest of the West Bank. face, it shouldn't matter. It's a west- "As for the Old City, forget it. ward expansion, meaning into Israel Today, we basically share control proper. But the cabinet also endorsed over the Temple Mount. That won't bringing some West Bank Jewish change. And if you try to do so, we'll towns into Jerusalem's "umbrella come in'with tanks. Don't test me. municipality." It's the one thing on which we More importantly, the Arabs, Israelis unite. Europeans and Americans see this as "So do you want your state or not? a provocative violation of the Oslo That's what I thought. We'll mess Accords. Is it true? The text known around with the details for a year and as Oslo II reads in part, "Neither then announce the agreement. Have a side shall initiate or take any step nice life. And don't call." that will change the status of the It sounds simple. It's not, but it's what ultimately will happen. And Bibi, if you pull this off, we'll Neil Rubin is editor of the Atlanta let you cut the cake at the next fami- Jewish Times, a sister publication of The ly reunion. ❑ Detroit Jewish News.