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A Love Letter

nlike what I usually write,
this column is not about me
or my children or my family.
It's about you.
I have been a journalist for:12
years, and I have never received a
response that begins to compare to
what I hear about this column —
and I was hardly the milquetoast
reporter. Murder, controversy and
scandal were my forte; if
you ever called the paper
and said, "Cancel my sub-
! scription!" chances are it
had to do with something I
wrote.
Things .didn't change
immediately after I had
children, though slowly I
began to look at the world in a dif-
ferent way. Mostly, it changed in
terms of what I wanted to read.
I Once, I would have picked up a
book about a child's murder and
read it — with discomfort, certainly,
but with intrigue, too, because I
would have been engrossed in the
mechanics of solving the case.
Now, I can't bear to hear about a •
child's death; it literally keeps me
awake at night, haunted during the
day.
After I had Adina, Yitz and Talya I
wanted to hear about others like me
who love their children, and love
them extraordinarily. I couldn't find
what I wanted, so I began to write
it.
There is much to be grateful for
with this column. First is that it forces
me to preserve in words the
moments — those seemingly forget
table incidents like playing in the
1 back yard or putting my children to
bed — which are most dear. Sec-
: and is the fact that I actually get
paid for writing it. Third is that it
has brought me an unusual circle o f
friends — you, the readers.
"Elizabeth!" a woman stopped
me in the halls of the Jewish Center.

i

6/19

1998

74

"You don't know me, but I loved
your piece about letting your chil-
dren sleep in bed with you. I agree
but my in-laws are against it. So
I gave them your column and that
Frank set
showed them!"
those boys
Another time an observant woman
straight.
asked not about anything Jewish I
had written, but about the welfare
of Lydia, a terribly sick Catholic
baby for whom I had
asked for your prayers.
Then there is my friend
Debbie, whom I have
Guess which famous Jewish conductor
never met, who called and
chanced his first name?
said, "I know you belong
to an Orthodox congrega-
Elizabeth Applebaum AppleTree Editor
tion and I belong to Tem-
ple Israel, so maybe we
FYI: Wonder how much he
don't have a lot in common, but I
er. In this film, he steps forward to
paid in taxes?
love what you write. I feel the same
stop a gang of street toughs about
It's no surprise that Steven Spiel-
way about my children."
to beat up a "dirty ..." (Sinatra
berg is one of Hollywood's richest
Debbie, we have everything in
stops them just in time, but we get
men. But try, just try, to imagine
common: what we feel for our chil-
the idea). The boys tell Frank
what he earned last year alone.
dren.
they're chasing this kid because
According to CNN, the movie
I do not believe, like those popu-
he's different, "he's not our reli-
producer brought home more than
lar "visionaries," that love is the
gion." Sinatra reminds them all that
$280 million in 1997.
answer to everything. But there are
this is what's great about America,
times when I am so deeply troubled
that it's a country for everyone of
FYI: When Frankie met
by the world I can barely think.
every faith, of every heritage. It
B etty ...
Then I remember you, the readers.
may not sound radical now, but
Maybe
it was the bums (Frank
You are patient and gentle with
Sinatra was definitely taking a risk
your children, and your love for them Sinatra's favorite word for journal-
at the time. Despite the Nazi per-
ists) who made it up, but for many
is beyond your vocabulary. Imagine
secution of Jews, anti-Semitism in
months there was a rumor that the
looking into the sky as far as you
the United States was rabid during
famed
crooner would marry Lauren
can see and still this does notibegin
the era. According to author
Bacall (born Betty Jo Perske). He
to compare to the breadth of love
Leonard Dinnerstein, in Anti-Semi-
didn't, of course, but Sinatra,
you have for your child.
tism in America, polls showed that
nonetheless, had many ties with
I think of your skill, affection and
citizens here thought JQws posed a
the Jewish community. He helped
commitment and I am grateful
greater danger to the American
raise $4 million for a Reform tem-
because I know that you will work
way of life than either the Ger-
ple
in Florida, for years quietly
a miracle in your life in the person
mans or the Japanese.
helped support actor Lee J. Cobb
you help God create: a tiny soul,
(after Cobb became ill and faced
your child, who will grow into a
FYI: Ooh la, la — George?
1 financial difficulties), and especial-
kind, compassionate person —
Yes, he's got that really sophisticat-
! ly interesting was a film brief Sina-
someone much like yourself. ❑
ed name that makes you think of
i tra made in the 1930s. He was
strolling along the never-sleepy
wildly popular at the time, forever
streets of Paris. But the real first
surrounded by swooning bobby
name of conductor Andre Previn,
soxers. But Sinatra wasn't content
Elizabeth Applebaum
born in 1929 in Berlin, is
to just make it big as an entertain-
AppleTree Editor
George. ❑

By George!

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