*for Openers...

Our Jewish Pets
And Their Humans

his tragically abbreviated life, the sim-
biblical name and, well, I was in a
f there is any kind of reincar-
ple ritual was laconic. But following a
hotel room one night ...) Floyd
nation," a friend told me sev-
few moments of uncomfortable
enjoys licking Giddy's paws and the
eral years ago, "I want to come
silence, Michael, age 5, asked whether
two of them conference each morn-
back as a pussycat in a Jewish
someone might say a word or two
ing as the dog chomps his
about the deceased. His mother quick-
home."
biscuit as the cat scavenges
ly suggested that since he and the tur-
I certainly understand
for crumbs. Quite
why. Our brown tabby,
tle were so close, Michael himself
adorable.
might want to offer the final message
Dracula ("Cat Dracula" to
But not all pets become
on the life of the dearly departed.
be specific, named by our
friends with one another.
Michael was up to the task. He
then 8-year-old son), led a
Rabbi Cy Stanway of Las
perfectly splendid life cir-
thought for a moment and then
Cruces, N.M., told me of
solemnly intoned the following
cumscribed by food on
the horror that struck a
blessing: "Baruch atta Adnoai. Tur-
demand, an unending, fre-
family in his congregation
quently refreshed supply of
tles gotta die." ❑
when their dog killed their
litter
and
industrial
kitty
RABBI ROBERT son's pet turtle.
strength catnip every Purim.
ALP ER
OK, maybe horror is
Now reverentially referred
too strong a word. In fact,
Spec ial to
to as "Dracula Alper of
The Jew ish News these people weren't exactly
blessed memory," he is
overwhelmed with grief.
(A taste of Yiddish.)
buried behind our house,
After all, how close can one get to a
surrounded by the Green Mountains
Az sfiz in droissen a bloteh,
turtle? Yet a proper burial seemed to
of Vermont.
be the right thing to do; and, so, one
fraren zich di shusters.
Dracula's successor, though in no
afternoon, the family gathered
way a replacement, is an orange ball
en the streets are muddy, the
around a hole that had been dug in
of fur known as Floyd. He came to
cobblers rejoice.
the back yard as the reptile was
us with that name; it was given to
interred. I suppose, to be accurate,
him by his previous owner, a wiz-
nu, and what about when it
that mini-ceremony should be called
ened Vermonter who so dubbed him
snows?
"a mock turtle funeral."
because, he explained, "Why, one
Reflecting the turtle's nature during
day I put down a bowl o' milk and
that cat just floyd across the room."
New Englanders laugh uproariously
at that story, while folks from other
regions say, "Huh? I don't get it."
Floyd is a sweet guy, but he keeps
"We've created a home for our members in which each and every one of us is
me awake most nights while
accepted for who we are. We've supported each other and worked together to
sprawled across my ankles. "Kick
make our dreams come true. Reached out to the community around us and
him off," my less compassionate
found our Jewish heart, soul and mind in the process."
—Steve Simons, Temple Shir Shalom president,
spouse suggests. "I would," I reply,
"but I'm afraid if I wake him he'll be
during last weekend's gala 10th anniversary celebration.
cranky in the morning."
The little guy gets along remark-
"Of course it's too Jewish. The ... movie's about Jews. What do you want to call
ably well with our 55-pound mon-
it — The Monsignor Yentl?"
grel Giddy. (His proper name is
—MGM studio chief Frank Yablans, as recalled by former studio execu-
Gideon. I wanted to give him a nice
tive Peter Bart, after a Jewish MGM president wanted to change the
title
of the movie Yentl because he thought it was too Jewish. Producer
Rabbi Bob Alper is a stand-up comic
and star Barbra Streisand finally quashed the idea of an alternate title.
and author.

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