or Openers...

Honor Thy
Mother, Father

the newspaper. "Dad," he said, "you're a
you, would a Jewish mother who could-
0 ne of the distinctive character-
man of the world. What exactly is
n't afford a hotel room pay out good
* stics of Jewish humor is to
diplomacy?'
money to have her picture taken?"
make fun of whatever is dear-
"Well, son," began the father, "if you
And as for Pappa:
est and closest to one's heart.
were to tell a homely girl, 'Your face
* Goldberg was reminisc-
But, as Henry D. Spalding
would stop a clock,' that would be not
ing about his boyhood in
notes in his Treasure-Trove of
only be undiplomatic but very unkind.
Russia. "I was born in
American Jewish Humor "Any
However, if you said to her, 'When I
Minsk," he said, "but actually
derision is aimed at the quality
look into your eyes, time stands still,'
I went to school right here in
\--) of weakness, seldom at the
you'd be saying the same thing, but that
Brooklyn."
/- weak person; it denounces
my boy, would be diplomacy."
"Wow!" exclaimed his son.
human frailty, not the human
Well, as the Talmud says, "Let us
call
busing!"
":That's what I
being."
be grateful to our parents: Had they
* "Pop, when does old age
The Yiddishe Mamma and
not been tempted, we would not be
start?" asked the youth view-
the Yiddishe Pappa often pro-
here." ❑
ing a few imaginary lines at
vide us with a nudge to our
SY MAN ELLO
the corner of his mouth in
memories and provide some
Editorial Assistant the mirror.
smiles for Mother's Day and
"It can start at any age,
Father's Day. Here are some
depending on the individual," said the
samples from Mr. Spalding's book:
father, smiling. "But actually, old age is
* Zero Mostel told the story about
the time when you find yourself giving
by Martha Jo Fleischmann
his mother's worried insistence that he
good advice instead of setting a bad
start a savings account. "Show me a
example."
There once was a pack rat
bankbook with $10,000 and I'll be sat-
* Keenly aware of an old man's biting
named Beulah
isfied," she would tell him. The day
sarcasm, the young suitor was nervous
Who opened a shop in Affulah.
finally came when he proudly displayed
about asking him for his daughter's
She suffered a theft
his bankbook showing a deposit of
hand in marriage. Summoning up his
And now her g'sheft*
$10,000. She shrugged and murmured,
courage, he approached the girl's father
Appears to be going
"You call that a lot of money?"
and asked, "May I have your daughter
machoolahr*
* Marvin went to Boy Scout camp
for my wife?"
for the first time. During the required
"I don't know," came the reply.
inspection, the scoutmaster found an
"Bring your wife around and let me
umbrella neatly placed inside Marvin's
look at her."
bedroll.
* The young man looked up from
"Now look here, " reproved the
scoutmaster, "you know perfectly well
that an umbrella is not listed as a neces-
sary item."
Marvin, echoing the sentiments of
"Today our years of wandering are over. Today we are home."
untold millions of other Jewish boys,
— President Joe Katz at the dedication program for
replied wearily, "Sir, did you ever have a
Congregation Shir Tikvah's new synagogue in Troy.
mother?"
* A mother and her little boy were
"There is one answer to Jewish cultural continuity. The answer is education,
making the rounds of the Metropolitan
education and more education. Education is the key to young Jews of today
Museum of Art in New York. They
knowing who they are and why they are."
came to a halt in front of the beautiful
—Pulitzer Prize-winning newspaper columnist Charles Krauthammer,
Madonna
and
Child.
painting
speaking at the Detroit Friends of the Jewish Theological Seminary's
"Look at that!" snorted the lady.
annual Detroit gala.
"They say she was Jewish. But I ask

/-

quotables

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