Reflections
Of A New Israeli:

YOUR DREAMS AT AN
AFFORDABLE PRICE!

Portables, pantomime and panic.

RUTH LITTMANN ASHKENAZI
Special to The Jewish News

S

ome friends of ours, Israelis,
were shocked to learn that I
e-mail my parents a letter
each day.
"So much news?" they asked dubi-
ously.
I tried to explain, but choked.
After six months of living in Israel, I
have mental archives so broad, so
jumbled, it's hard to
know where to begin.
Each day brings a new
observation, a new
frustration, a different
tory.
Of course, my take
on the aliyah experi-
ence is exactly that:
my take. I speak for
no one else.
Thus far, this "new"
life of mine has
revolved around learn-
ing Hebrew.
Therefore, my column
will focus on lingual -
mishaps. However,
first let me address a
few stereotypes and
amendments thereto:

1. All Israelis are
pushy and rude.
Not true.
2. All Israelis are
warm and hospitable.
Not true.
3. Israelis conquer
the roadways like
blindfolded, teenage
boys on a hormone
rush.
True.
4. Israelis love their
cell phones.
Very true.

If you're sick of this
last, oft-regurgitated
news bite, I'm sorry.
But for the skeptic
who needs further

confirmation of Israel's cell phone
obsession, I can provide it.
More than once I've seen couples
sitting in cafes, drinking espresso
while chatting on their portables. I
would not be surprised to learn they
were talking to each other. Short-dis-
tance rates are .a bargain.
And Israelis always are looking for
bargains. One of my more comical
adventures takes place weekly in gro-
cery stores. There, Israelis young and

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old are privy to my pantomime tal-
ent each time I forget the Hebrew
word for (and the shelf location of)
yeast:
Me: "I'm looking fox the stuff
that makes the cake go like this."
I raise my arms and drop them.
"Like this: down ... UP! down ...
UP!"
After several repetitions, the store
"helpers" catch my drift and respond
with rapid-fire instructions that
cling-clang with
Russian accents.
They typically recip-
rocate by pantomiming
a bunch of "this ways
and that ways," and by
the time they're done, I
find myself staring at
shelves stocked with
disposable diapers.

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Forget the yeast.
However, true gro-
cery-store excitement
comes at the cash regis-
ter after the clerk has
rung up the bill.
Depending on the size
of my purchase and my
choice of retailer —
SuperSol, HyperKol
and the rest — I always
receive two bonus liters
of Pepsi. Or, stamps
good toward pots and
pans. Or, a free toy.
At one point, with
14 liters of Pepsi in
our kitchen, I asked
my Israeli husband
exactly WHAT use we
had for new pots and
pans? He cocked his
head and agreed that,

Ruth Littmann
Ashkenazi, a former
Jewish News staff writer,
moved to Israel with her
Israeli husband, Zvika
Ashkenazi, last fall. The
couple lives outside of Tel
Aviv.

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96

5/1
1998

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