yourself through dating, but then again,
one runs a high risk of getting lost with-
in a mass of emotionally challenging
relationships.
Ultimately, we all choose the dating
approach that suits us, but hey, don't
forget to consider that the "matchmak-
er" scene has a surprisingly impressive
track record. ❑

Barbara Horwitz is a Chicagoan study-

ing in Jerusalem at Neve Yerushalyim.

Financial Tip
Of The Month

Median Price of Existing One-Family Homes

(Second Quarter 1997)

l

f you're saving for your first
home, you may have more
obstacles -- and more alter-
natives -- than ever before.
First, the bad news. Housing has
become more expensive, and
salaries haven't kept up with rising
home prices.
But there's good news, too.
Now, you can save for a house
down payment — with ar Individ-
ual Retirement Account (IRA).
Withdrawals of up to $10,000 can
be made from the new Roth IRA
or from a Traditional IRA in a tax-
advantaged manner, if the money is
used for a first-time home pur-
chase. Also, parents and grandpar-
ents can give first-time home buy-
ers up to $10,000 from their own
IRAs without incurring an early
withdra.wal penalty.
So if you've postponed funding
an IRA because home ownership is
a more immediate priority, make
your 1997 and 1998 contributions
before April 15, and get your foot
in the door of your first home
sooner.

— Lisa London

Lisa London is vice president-

investments, financial consultant, at
Smith Barney in Southfield.

4/3
1998

76

Guy's Eye

The sociologists have it wrong
when it comes to making a good marriage.

NFL Sunday, late-night bull ses-
sions. Party's over.
Your next 19,006 weekends are
already
booked — you'll be
he morning sun beams
trekking
through shopping malls
through the kitchen win-
and
art
galleries,
furtively looking
dow. I've got my coffee
for
a
TV
to
check
how badly the
and some jazz gently
Lions
are
losing.
tickling my eardrums. It's another
All give, no take.
lazy Sunday morning, and I'm read-
Forget male bonding — your
ing the newspaper: Iraq, corrupt
buddies
are too busy being con-
meat-packing inspectors and the
trolled
by
their wives. Hope you've
prestigious White House intern
got
some
mementos
from the good
program.
times,
because
that's
as close as
Suddenly, a headline jolts me out
you're
going
to
get
now.
Welcome
of my reverie:
to the world of being a married
"Want a happy marriage? Just do
schmuck, and remember to ask
what your wife says."
your wife for permission
WOW, I think I've just figured
before reading this col-
out why I'm not excited about get-
urnn.
ting married.
To the ladies: con-
The story that follows says that
grass,
spouses aren't really capable of
the
Yu b 'va e tt w le7 We're
healthy communication. According
beat, and the marriage
to a recently released study, it says,
marriage works best when husbands experts like it that way.
Now, let's step back a minute.
let their wives control them.
Here's
a brief history of male-
Right. And a similar study con-
female
interaction: Men controlled
cludes that well-trained dogs piss
women
for a long time, since Eve
on the carpet.
grabbed
that apple in the Garden of
The study says that the "active
Eden.
Women
have been branded
listening" techniques marriage
inferior.
Then
women
stood up for
counselors employ are not helping
themselves.
couples with marital strife. It con-
That's good. But its not good to
cludes that the best marriages are
swing
too far the other way. Some
the ones where women. win all the
women
might want to flex their
arguments.
muscle,
and retribution
i i is under-
Here's what I'm thinking: I'm
standable.
But
today's
man should-
just out of college, and life is defi-
n't
pay
for
his
ancestors'
mistakes
nitely less fun. As if having to work
it's
:counter-productive.
I offer
—
9 to 5 isn't boring enough, I've got
John. Wayne Bobbit as proof.
obedience class in my future?
Unfortunately, some men think
Apparently life doesn't begin at 40;
they
have to overcompensate.
it ends at 24.
They're
the morons who wrote this
Back to the study. Are we really
study.
Their
wives' favorite snack?
that immature? Seems to me that
Backbone
of
husband, roasted on
people should get married if they
an
open
flame.
make each other happy -- not if
The supposed "men" who
they establish an effective pecking
authored
this garbage should be
order.
fired
immediately,
then tarred and
Gentlemen, the article's diaboli-
feathered.
Or
maybe
branding the
cal message is this: give up. The
word
"weenie"
on
their
foreheads
card games, the swimsuit issue,
would be better.
Marriage isn't supposed to be a
Matt Mossman is a perpetually sin-
domestic battleground. It's a union
gle guy who writes fbr the Palm
of two people who love and respect
Beach Post.

MATT MOSSMAN
Special toss=he j`*h News

each other, and therefore, shouldn't
want to trample on the other's life.
The sociologists missed that
point. They go on to say that
women are good at being bossy,
and men who can't accept that are
probably violent.
The better man, they say, is actu-
ally a trained seal.
"Some men are really good at
accepting a wife's influence," says
study author John Gottman. In his
whacked-out world, man's most
valuable skill is finding ways to
agree with his wife.
Aside from the sweeping general-
izations the study makes, it's flat
out wrong. It's actually
a recipe for a miserable
life.
And if bite your
tongue — these so-
called men-sociologists
are right, we now have
an explanation for the
country's high divorce rate, ugly
incidents of spousal abuse and Bill
Clinton's alleged sexcapades.
I guess the real message is there's
no such thing as a healthy marriage
only a practical one, good for
social functions, sex and the mar-
ried. couple tax credit.
Marriage isn't something you
should do because its good to go
through life with a partner, best
friend, lover, goes this line of dunk-
ing, but because you're here on
Earth to reproduce,which is not
socially acceptable if you're not
married.

All give,

no take.

How romantic.

If this is marital bliss, I'm having
kids via the Rosie O'Donnell
method. It will be easier this way, if
only because I'll be able to respect
myself Besides, I don't want to
learn to balance beach balls on my
nose.
To the cretin sociologists: Instead
of finding out what makes bad
marriages work, figure out why the
concept of marriage isn't working.
Report back to me promptly. ,*ititAis0
While I'm waiting, I gotta finish
reading the newspaper. El