7
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Leger has always been a crier, but
she now tries to control her tears at
work. "I have had to build a facade
for the business part of me," she
said. She tries to get enough sleep
and eat right "so I'm not going into
a situation in a weakened condi-
tion."
At work she tries to stay focused
on the facts and not take negative
comments personally. If she can't
stay focused, she excuses herself
from the room or cancels the meet-
ing until she can compose herself.
Leger learned early on that crying
can have negative consequences.
"I can remember being 5 years
old and going to a movie with my
grandmother, a very stout and severe
woman. I cried during the movie
and she was angry. I had embar-
rassed her and she dragged me out
of the movie."
"Crying is not looked upon with
understanding and favor - it's looked
upon as a weakness."
Leger's father never liked her cry-
ing, even on his deathbed. "I wanted
desperately to tell him how much he
meant to me an _ d how much I would
miss him," she said. "I started weep-
ing. He shut me right off. I took a
deep breath and gulped. I sat there
and held his hand."
Leger understands why she cries.
She immerses herself in emotional
situations, both real and fictional.
For instance, she used to show a
video featuring the U.S. hockey
team's victory at the 1980 Olympics
during seminars.
"I was showing that tape three
and four times a month and I cried
every single time. It's as if I'm living
it.
Being a crier isn't all bad, however.
"I think in having to deal with
this I have had to learn to accept
myself for who I am and not be
embarrassed or ashamed of it," she
said. Rather than worry about those •
who cry too much, Frey believes the
bigger problem is with people who
don't cry enough.
Tears are the body's way of flush-
ing out chemicals that build up dur-
ing stress, he said. Humans are the
only animal on Earth that cry. And
to hold back nature can't be good
for the body, Frey said.
"(The ability to cry) evolved for a
good reason," Frey said.
Vassar's Cornelius agreed.
"It's a signal that has evolved that
very powerfully tells others of our
species we need help." 0
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