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1998. Music Series a
The Trowbridge

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24111 Civic Center Drive. Southfield, MI 48034

Tuesday, April 7th at 2:00 PM
for Harold Orbach of Temple Israe

Accompanist, Zina Shaykhet

Tuesday, April 21st at 2:00 PM
Guardian Angels Catholic
Community Choir of Clawson

Choir Director, Joseph Palazzolo

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Tuesday, April 28th at 8:00 PM
African Methodist Episcopal
Church Choir of Mitcham Chapel

Choir Director, Edith Watkins

The music series is complimentary and is open to the public.
Parking is limited.
For more information please call Libby at

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4/3
1998

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286 West Maple • Birmingham

(248) 540-1977

Mon.-Sat. 10-5:30 • Thurs. 10-9

Lynn, the mother of the clarinet-
playing teen, had no choice. She was
forced to seek help when her son
developed stomach problems in fifth
grade. The boy was being picked on
by his schoolmates for his weepy
ways. When doctors determined
Lynn's son had no physical ailments,
she turned to a psychologist for
help.
The psychologist helped the boy
learn to deal with negative thoughts
through breathing exercises and
visualization. "Most of all, (the psy-
chologist) helped build up his self
esteem so other kids wouldn't pick
on him. And he told him it's OK to
be an individual.”
"He's still very sensitive," Lynn
said. "But it bothers me less now."
Lynn said her husband has a
harder time watching the boy cry. "I
know he wishes our son wasn't like
that," Lynn said. "He wishes he'd be
a little tougher. That's a guy thing."
Most guys turn off their tears at
age 12, said Frey, the St. Paul
researcher who has written Crying:
The Mystery of Tears. "Men are con-
ditioned out of this," he said. "They
are told it's unmanly to cry. So they
have this James Bond image of
always being in control."
That's why men have trouble
being around people who cry, he
added. "A lot of people have nega-
tive reaction to crying in part
because they don't allow themselves
to cry," he said. "And when you see
someone else crying, it makes you
feel like crying."
Crying in private or with close
family members is an accepted out-
let. Tears in the workplace are more
controversial. "People show all kinds
of emotion at work," Frey said. "At
least (crying) shows they have some
emotional investment in their job.
It's a lot better to cry a few tears
than to cuss somebody out."
Not everyone agrees. Marilyn
Leger, director of education and
organizational development at Silver
Cross Hospital, learned the hard way
that tears and work don't always

mix.

At her previous job she was hav-
ing a particularly rough week. She
had been working 12-hour days on a
special project and her father was in

the hospital. When her boss asked
how she was doing, Leger cried.
Later when she was passed over for a

promotion she asked the boss why.
"She said, 'You don't hold up well
under stress,'" Leger recalled.