"So often we shove that responsi-
bility onto others, but it's my values
I'm instilling," she says. "It's up to us
to reinforce what's important."
Though going the extra mile still
isn't the norm, more and more par-
ents are making monetary donations
to Yad Ezra or Ivlazon in honor of
their child's bar/bat mitzvah, often
by sponsoring food baskets instead
of bimah flowers. And at some par-
ties, families create centerpieces
themed to social action projects.
Items in the centerpieces — baby
products, non-perishable food, toi-
letries, toys — are donated. Popular
charities include COTS (Coalition
on Temporary Shelter), JARC, the
Baldwin Center and the Gleaner's
Food Bank.
Yad Ezra, the local kosher supple-
mental pantry, is so popular among
this age group that its board created
a special Yad Ezra candle to be given
to bar/bat mitzvah students who
complete at least six hours of volun-
teer service. .The candle can be
included in candlelighting cere-
monies.
"We're popular because they feel
they make a difference," says Lea
Liter, development director of Yad
Ezra. "It's hand's-on volunteering
and that interaction is very meaning-
ful."
Making a bar/bat mitzvah mean-
ingful is, after all, what it's all about.
"With our mitzvot program we've
seen a difference in the level of
knowledge," says Marc Kay, youth
director at Adat Shalom. "Rather
than learning their portion and hav-
ing a party, they have stronger
knowledge of what it means to be a
bar mitzvah."
Along the way, kids also are feel-
ing good about themselves and
about their synagogues, which has
led to higher retention in post-
bar/bat mitzvah classes, according to
local administrators.
It's a win-win situation.
"These kids who have so much
also have much to give back," says
Tobye Bello, religious school admin-
istrator at Shaarey Zedek. "Our hope
is by getting these kids to do mitz-
vah projects they'll get something
out of it and make it a lifelong
habit. They are our future volunteers
and community leaders." ❑

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