Celebrate

In-Laws, Out-Laws:
Plan For Conflicts

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doing nothing: Do something about
the music the DJ plans to play; hire
a string quartet to play Viennese
waltzes and hope Gertrude stays
IV hen planning a wed-
r_\
away from the punch bowl; cancel
ding, it's important to
the punch bowl; and, finally — the
employ careful advance
course of least resistance and possible
planning, utter candor,
embarrassment — do nothing and
direct communication and event
" cool."
decide that you will let tongues wag
as they may. Nothing is
No matter how small, a
going to spoil your daugh-
wedding is one of life's most
Plan ning a
important rituals. By its very
wedd ing can ter's wedding day.
nature, it contains the seeds of
Added guests are always a
be like a
great frustration, incredible
problem,
especially when the
roller -coaster
mother
of
the bride is deter-
stress and potential disaster.
r ide.
No matter what you do, some-
mined to stay within her
one is going to be offended.
budget and space is limited.
When you plan the invitations, you
You're planning your daughter's
wedding, and you've just received the might consider placing check-off
boxes and lines on the RSVP card;
news from Chicago that Aunt
for example, Guest No. 1 and Guest
Gertrude is coming. On the RSVP,
No. 2, with a sentence at the bottom
she's checked off her name and
regarding space limitations.
penned in two others, both male in
This brings up another potential
gender.
sore point. Your daughter has decid-
There are several possibilities. You
ed she doesn't want child guests,
could get up the nerve and give the
either at the wedding ceremony or
old bird a jingle. You might remind
terrorizing the reception, risking
her, gently of course, that wedding
injury to themselves and to elderly
invitations are extended only to
guests. Although children are not
those to whom they are addressed. It
invited unless their names are on the
is not etiquette to add the names of
invitation, many people in today's
others. Space is limited, yatata-yata-
world do not understand this proto-
ta.
C>
col.
Such direct action — certainly
Friends and cousins of the bride
your prerogative — risks detonating
and groom have toddlers in their
a family feud, but relationships may
ranks. You don't want to offend any-
be rather strained already.
one, but the bride has made her
There are several possibilities,
wishes known. She might phone
which include doing something and

CHARLENE BALDRIDGE
Special to The Jewish News

Charlene Baldridge writes for Copley
News Service.

friends and relatives, explaining her
position in advance of the invitation.
The two of you may choose to wait