fig 16 * 'MIW 0,,r1 ■■ / fi0 1;jA 4, 09 cn.ed. c91 Special 9- cy. cspecia ce.sian, 19)a/st crowd of bachelors. Bob laughed so hard champagne shot out of his nose. He said he couldn't wait for our wed- ding. Help me. - Horrified Dear Horrified, My goodness. Are you sure your friend's wedding wasn't being taped for an episode of "America's Tackiest Home Videos"? While one might hope that anoth- er's social graces would reach a higher standard during an occasion such as one's wedding, one may be hoping for, well, too much. "Some people are choosing not to follow some of these traditions," Clark says. "My feeling is, if you're going to do it, do it with some respect." Make the wedding your own. Usually worn in blue on white, symbols of fidelity and purity, the garter is now nothing but a leftover since the advent of pantyhose. Histor- ically, it's a custom that has not improved much with age. In more randy times, the garter was snatched from the bride's leg and worn as a prize. Today, the removal of this inti- mate item can still make brides blush when grooms are encouraged to per- form the custom accompanied by bump and grind music. Clark advises prudence. "If you choose this tradition, do it tastefully," she says. "When it gets tasteless, it's not appropriate at a wedding." Dear Ms. Matrimony, My wedding is next month and the best man seems to be practicing vulgar limericks instead of writing a wedding toast. What can I do to avoid burned toast? - Burned Toast Dear Burned Toast, Hire a hit man for the best man? No, I suppose not. But, honey, you are in danger of being roasted instead of toasted at your reception. You may long to hear a simple proverb, such as "The heart that loves is forever young," or even a bit of poetry, like "Grow old with me, the best is yet to be." But instead you end up with "There once was a gal from Nantucket." Bummer. "The toast should focus on won- derful memories and good luck for the couple," Clark says. She suggests giv- ing the best man a book of toasts or writing letters or poems to each other that you would read aloud at toast time. Try Wedding Toasts and Speeches — Finding the Perfect Words, by Jo Packham (Sterling/Chapelle). It's loaded with quotes and speeches that are full of wisdom, humor and corn- fort. Or, Toasts, by Paul Dickson (Crown). It boasts more than 1,500 toasts and blessings that are both funny and sentimental for all occa- sions. Dear Ms. Matrimony, My sweetheart and I have promised each other we won't smash cake on each other's faces at our wedding reception. But now my bridesmaids are trying to convince me otherwise. What's a girl to do? - Tempted Dear Tempted, Your wedding cake, symbolic of prosperity and fertility (again with the fertility!), is the first thing you and your spouse will share as a new cou- ple. Your first bite should remind you of the sweetness of the life you will be sharing. If you want to spoil that, go ahead. It's your call. Again, Clark encourages couples to educate themselves about the custom. "Get back to the meaning of the tradi- tion," she says. "You're united now and sharing what life has to offer." Finally, Clark reminds couples that they shouldn't feel bad about which traditions they choose to honor and which they choose to leave out. "There's nothing set in stone. Come up with some traditions of your own. "Look to your heritage and incor- porate something meaningful," she says. "It's your day." For help understanding the history behind wedding customs, try A Bride's Book of Wedding Traditions, by Arlene Hamilton Stewart (Hearst Books), full of suggestions for filling your wedding with meaningful traditions and cus- toms that span cultures and centuries. And the Bride's Little Book of Customs and Keepsakes, by the editors of Bride's magazine (Clarkson Potter), provides useful background and makes a nice gift. 0 For Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, Weddings or Any Special Occasion...We Have Years of Experience to Make Your Event a Success. Featuring Our In-Home Service to Discuss All Of Your Party Rental and Floral Needs. &wet/ 3,0iti,th Laurel Park Place • Livonia (734) 464-3330 (800) 767-9037 Near the AMC Theatres 04 liii .i . ., AAP/1W F 0 P ART Y Quality In•House Printing Native fulkiimeArt Staff V Embroidery/ transfers ettert andNumbers..:. ✓ (248) 477-TEES 1- Shirts . Boxer Shorts Sweats Laps Muss Water Wiles Etc,... 3/20 TW§ C6: