Mazel Toy

Purim Spoof!

Purim Spoof!

Bad Grammer,
Bad Faithe

When the latest copy of The Jewish
News arrived on my doorstep, late as
usual, I was distressed by the content.
In a story about the legalities of les-
bian couples holding hands while dunk-
ing in the mikvah, you forgot to add a
comma after the introductory adverbial
clause, three paragraphs into the story.
This is not the first time I have had a
problem with what I have found to be a
self-hating newspaper. How are we to
take pride in our Jewish heritage when
you can't even represent it grammatical-
ly?
Not to mention that I have recog-
nized no one in the last three issues.
How do you decide whom to photo-
graph? Is it a random, anti-Jewish selec-
tion? Do you pick the least Jewish topic
in the least Jewish neighborhood and
highlight the goyishe habits of 20th cen-
tury Jews?
I know you may not have taken me
seriously before regarding my 632
claims to cancel my subscription, but
this time I mean it.

Annie Barnyard
Oak Berm

Another Reader
Down The Tubes

I find The Jewish News so offensive that
I will be cancelling my subscription.
H
Let me itemize my complaints. First
of all, your obituaries section is too
long, depressing, and has too many old
people in it.
Second, my Aunt Esther's repeated
suggestions that you do an article about
our cat's bat mitzvah have fallen on deaf
ears. I find this highly discriminatory.
Who are you to judge the Jewishness of
our feline?
I am sick of reading about the fol-
lowing Jews who are a disgrace to our
community: gay Jews, intermarried
Jews, Jews who support the peace
process, ultra-Orthodox extremists who
think they are better than everyone else
and won't even shake your hand,
Republicans, that out-of-touch flaming-
ly liberal Jewish Community Council
and everyone associated with Akiva
Hebrew Day School. Furthermore, if I
see anything more about plans for a
new Jewish high school or teen missions
to Israel, I will scream! This new genera-
tion of youth is not as Jewish as my
generation was, and it is high time we
stopped throwing money away on
them.

/

Not only is your paper sensationalis-
tic, it is too negative and is always airing
the community's dirty underwear. Fur-
thermore, the articles are shallow and
fluffy: why don't you print hard news
and show some investigative reporting?
Your writers all have a left-wing bias
except for the ones who are right-wing
fanatics.

Engagements

Weddings

Streusel-Topping

Lotsa-Gelt

Cookie Streusel and Morris Topping
are pleased to announce their engage-
ment.
Cookie is the daughter of Manny
and Rebecca Streusel of Allen Park.
Morris is the son of Herbert and
Tanya Topping of West Bloomfield.
The couple met when they both
reached for the same box of matzah
while shopping for Passover two years
ago.
Cookie is a fashion model with a
New York modeling agency. Morris is
the manager of the soon-to-open glatt-
kosher restaurant, For Your Pleasure,
in Royal Oak.
The wedding is planned for August.

Tiffany Lotsa and Gregory Gelt were
recently married at the Hyatt Mid-
town in Manhattan. Rabbi Jerry Bim-
barn and Cantor Ising Alto of the
Midtown Congregation officiated.
Tiffany is the daughter of Gertrude
and Irving Lotsa of Manhattan. Gre-
gory is the son of Gilda and Harold
Gelt of Bloomfield Hills.
The bride was attended by her col-
leagues from the Knollwood Girls
School on Long Island where Tiffany
teaches needlework and women's
empowerment classes. The grooms-
men were all partners in the family
accounting firm, Gotta, Geda and
Gelt. The ring bearer was the couple's
golden retriever, Moochie.
After a honeymoon in Guatemala,
the couple will reside in New York City.

Manny Dripman
North Farm

Cheers For
Coverage

I'm writing in response to your series on
transvestite rabbis.
First, let me commend you on a job
well done. You helped to enlighten your
readers to a painful situation that rabbis
who like halter tops and stilettos face
daily. The scorn and derision from col-
leagues and sometimes their wives only
puts them back in the closet.
I ask, if they're not bringing it into
the shul, why should their congregants
care? What's more, wouldn't anybody
tire of black hats and coats day in and
day out? A bit of lace or silk can make a
gloomy day bright.
I'm glad The Jewish News is tackling
tough issues. Keep up the good work.

"Candy" Schwartzberg
Las Bloomfield

Champ-Schlechter

Don't Forget
Racquetball Players

On behalf of the 10 squash and rac-
quetball players at the Jewish Com-
munity Center, I would like to voice
my displeasure that the JCC won't be
adding new racquetball courts in its
grandiose redesign of the building.
With only 15 courts available now,
how are players supposed to get times
to play? Racquetball is on the verge of
making a comeback to its popularity of
20 years ago, and could once again
become the sport of the future.
But what about using the courts for
walleyball, baton twirling and Ping-
Pong? All of these are up-and-coming
sports.
Even though we may seem to be
stuck in the past, the JCC needs our
membership dues to pull off its plans.
Hopefully our repeated pleas will not
continue to run up against a brick wall.

Jacques Strappe
Huntington Hills-

Bar/Bat Mitzvahs

Punim 65th

Mr. and Mrs. Avery Schlechter of
West Bloomfield are pleased to
announce the engagement of their son
Adam "The Blond Bulldog" to
Champ, son of Brutus and Fluffy of
Lakeville, N.Y.
The pair were brought together by
Adam's colleagues at CMI Health &
Tennis Club, who noted that the two
had much in common. Champ is a
pedigree bulldog; Adam is a pedigree
trainer.
After they elope, the couple will
reside in Kennelsville, Mich.

Tzvi and Shaina Punim are marking
their 65th wedding anniversary (pm!
ptu! ptu!).
They are being treated to a trip to a
South American Club Med by their
loving children and grandchildren.
The Punims met on a Clairemont
streetcar in Detroit and the romance
has been on the right track ever since.

3/13
1998

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