BRIEFS

Due to overwhelming response last year, Temple Beth El is currently taking lunch
orders for next Yom Kippur.
"We were blown away by the stampede to the Gilded Social Hall last year when
we mentioned that snacks were available," said Rabbi Don Corleone. "This year,
we'll avoid the chaos by doing a sit-down lunch."

The Jewish Community Council of Metropolitan Detroit has initiated a task force
to study ways to improve the relationship between the Jewish and Inuit communi-
ties in metropolitan Detroit.
"It's important that we forge ties with the Inuits, who are facing challenges with
which the Jewish community is familiar," said JCC Council Director David
"Scrimshaw" Bag-Barf.

A group of Conservative and Reform Jews met this week to angrily denounce a new
mikvah that will serve the Orthodox community exclusively.
"Once again, we have been slapped in the face by the Orthodox," said Shirley
Wigoutsky. She explained that the group, which uses the acronym CRAM (Conser-
vative and Reform Jews Against Exclusive Use Of The Mikvah), isn't upset that the
Oak Park land on which the mikvah will sit is owned by the Jewish Federation.
What bothers members is being barred from swimming and fishing in the mikvah,
she said.
"Or, are only the Orthodox allowed to cool off on a hot summer's day?"

Despite near-perfect marks from the state department of public health, the Marvin
and Betty Boop Family Health Care Center is calling it a day.
"These people think they're entitled to cartoons 24 hours a day, nectar from the
drinking fountains and a personal escort service," a spokesperson said. "We say,
Th-Th-That's All Folks.'"

❑

Veteran teachers dismissal brings on a
Tide of bad Cheer.

JULIAN WHINER
StiffiVriter

E

illel Day School has dis-
missed longtime teacher
Woolite Flei-shirt for air-
ing a student's dirty laun-
dry in the school's parking lot.
"I hate to engage in lashon hora
while teaching our children other-
wise, but this is completely unaccept-
able conduct," said Headmaster Mark
Downy, who recommended that the
Hillel Washboard of Directors dismiss
Flei-shirt. "This teacher completely
violated the child's privacy and ruined
his favorite outfit, which was dry-
clean only. She didn't even use fabric
softener!"
Flei-shirt says she was treated
unfairly and plans to contest her dis-
missal. "First of all, it was clean, not
dirty laundry," she said. "And they
should have warned me that my job
was on the line instead of just Whisk-

3/13
1998

70

ing me away and hanging me out to
dry. ”

Although neither the administra-
tion nor Flei-shirt will disclose the
details of the case, the school is a veri
table Whirpool of rumors. According
to one story agitating among parents,
the child's clothing was soiled during
lunch period, when Flei-shirt ordered
him to finish eating and he acciden-
tally spilled his drink
Maytag Littman, head of the
teachers' association, says the situa
tion at Hillel is pressing. "The
administration is s tryng
i to put a posi-
five spin on this, but Flei-shirt is not
the only teacher to be put through
the wringer here," she said. "In the
interest of all in the Hillel family, we
must put a stop to this cycle of bad
feeling."
The teachers are requesting that
the parents show support by leav-
ing laundry bags in front of the
school. LI

,

JCC Reveals Big
Plans For
Expansion

Administrators hope to compete
with Disney World.

World, and almost as big!" he
exclaimed. "With other metro area
Centers expanding, we needed to
make sure we'd stay as the largest,
most exciting Center in North
America."
n a surprise turnabout, the
The Magic Shtetl will copy the
Jewish Community Center in
look of a Polish village, replete with
West Bloomfield has decided
muddy streets, dilapidated homes,
to become a theme park that
children playing stickball and ped-
is "even better than Disney World."
dlers pulling
The resolu-
carts.
tion to build
In keep-
Yid Village,
ing with the
passed at a
"theme
meeting of the
park"
Federation
theme, plans
and Founda-
are in place
tion, will
to add mov-
allow the Cen-
ing side-
ter to build
walks, infor-
over the park-
mation
ing lots and to
desks, sou-
erect a Magic
venir shops
Shtetl on
and familiar
grounds
characters
Barriers can't hold back
behind the
pro-racquetball protesters.
from the
structure.
Jewish com-
It is
munity to -
rumored that new parking lots
mingle with visitors. Snorkin
across Maple and Drake roads will
revealed few details, except that the
be pay-to-park in order to offset the
park will include the "Purple Gang
cost of the project.
Shooting Range" sponsored by
"We recognize that the intersec-
tions around the Center are congest- Temple Israel.
The response to the announce-
ed," said Executive Director Mickey
ment
was positive, with the excep-
Snorkin. "That's why we've pro-
tion of a several angry JCC mem-
posed a monorail system to trans-
bers. Snorkin weathered a surprising
port people to and from the Center,
amount of protest when informa-
Fleshman and Heckman."
tion leaked that Yid Village won't
The total cost of the massive pro-
feature racquetball courts.
ject is being kept under tight wraps
"We thought about adding
by Federation.
courts,
but we believe the typical
"I'm astonished that you would
Yid
Village
visitor won't want to
ask about the cost of the project,"
work out," Snorkin said.
said Goofy Markoff of the Federa-
Federation is denying the rumor
tion. "I wouldn't tell you even if I
that the next expansion of the Cen-
did know."
ter will include the introduction of
Snorkin is ecstatic about plans.
casino gambling. ❑
"With the monorail, this place
will be even better than Disney

ELON GOLDDIGGER
StaffWriter who really tired of dri-
ving to the corner of Maple and
Drake.

I