Fr ont

Purim Spoof!

Despite protest, a group of mop-top rabbis is
keeping its club exclusive.

MERRY LIN CONE Specialist

T

club. The five members — Rabbis
he most recent meeting
Steven Weil, Danny
of the Hair Club
Nevins, Efry Spectre,
for Rabbis
Rabbi Michael Leonardo Bitra
kicked up a little
Moskowitz is
David Nelson
more controversy than
aying
usual. The follicly-chal-
disc-rimirlati011. him away forcil;ly, em
sizing that dub member
lenged Rabbi Michael
-
ship is open to only
Moskowitz camped outside
m ost
the door, begging admittance to the

Angered by the rejection,
Moskowitz embarked on a cam-
paign to disavow the club; he sees
the slight as discrimination against
the less traditional movements of
Judaism.
"This is yet a.nother example of
the Orthodox influence over less
religious Jewish movements,"
Moskowitz alleged. "We will not be
stopped! We will not be pushed
out!'
Moskowitz said he will continue
to protest outside of club meetings,
holding a placard that reads,
"Excluding Reform is not a Jewish
thing to do."
When contacted for comment on
the incident, the club's spokesman,
Rabbi Steven Weil, assured that the
slight had nothing to do with Rabbi
Moskowitz's beliefs -- just his lack
of hair.
"None of us look at, ano t her Jew
according to his or her movement,"
explained "Weil. "We're merely Jews
corning together in the interests of
hair. All we do is exchange gels,
mousse and combs, and advise each
other on the best way to keep hair
looking good during a three-day
yomov,"

ination" she sari

just let any Torn, Dick or
clu b .

ar

JULIUS WHINER

Right: An Israeli rooster waits on
the tarmac of Tel Aviv's Ben-Gurion
Airport to protest the exclusion of
fowl from Pet-nership 2000

Staffer

T

- Left: A Southfield pooch eagerly awaits
his trip to the Central Galilee. When
asked to comment, he merely said,
"Woof"

Donors Anonymous

Federation gift to benefit Pet-nership 2000 and
further Jewish continuity.

he Jewish Federation of Met-
ropolitan Detroit announced
last week that it had received
a "substantial" gift from an
anonymous donor.
Although he would not disclose the
amount of the contribution, Federation
President Blah Blah Naftaly said the
money would "strengthen our mission
of promoting Jewish continuity"
Federation Executive Vice President
Bubba Aronson said that the funds
would also be used for a new Pet-ner-
ship 2000 project in which the puppies
of Detroit Jews will visit puppies in the
Central Galilee in order to dig up
kosher bones together and bark about
what they have in common.
"It is truly exciting that we have such
generous people in our community,"

Rabbi Efry Spec-- Rabbi Steve Weil
tre has no lack of sometimes loses his
locks. kippah in his hair.

Rabbi David Nel- Rabbi Michelle
son doesn't like to Faudem: Proud to
be a Hair Club
brag about his
member
crown.

bi Daniel
ns once
starred in a pro-
duction of "Hain"

said Aronson. "When these puppies
grow up to be dogs, no bones about it
they will be committed to furthering
the Israel-Diaspora relationship."
Federation Chief Operating Officer
Murky Davidoff would neither disclose
the size of the gift nor the budget for
Pet-nership 2000, saying, "I am aston-
ished that you would ask that!"
However, he confirmed rumors that
the Federation building in Bloomfield
Hills will change its name from the
Marx Fisher Federation Building to the
Anonymous Federation Building.
"We wanted to honor our new gen-
erous donors, plus — with the flourish-
ing of support groups with the name
Anonymous in them, such as Gamblers
Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous
and Jewish Cheeseburger Eaters Anony-
mous — we thought this would be a
wonderful way to reach out to unaffili-
ated Jews," said Davidoff. ❑

3/13
1998

69