Intertwining Ideologies

DEBBIE FEIT
Special to The Jewish News

I is Saturday morning, and I'm
sure my husband, Dave, would
prefer to stay in bed, eat a bowl
of Corn Flakes and watch
"Pinky And The Brain." Instead, he's
coming with me to the Birmingham
Temple for an intermarriage work-
shop.
Truth be told, after being married
for a year and a half — and together
for almost six — we've had time to
mesh my Judaism with Dave's
Presbyterianism. Most of our argu-
ments revolve around his dirty socks
in the living room; not whether Jesus
was the son of God.
But maybe the day will offer us
insight into the other's perspective.
Maybe we'll learn something from the
couples who have been dealing with
interfaith issues longer than we have.

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1998

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Can a workshop really help smooth
the path, when a Jew and a gentile
marry?

Maybe we'll just wish we stayed in
bed for "Animaniacs."

"Making intermarriage work: a work-
shop for Jews and non-Jews" has been
offered by the Birmingham Temple for
the past 15 years.-Its purpose is to
help interfaith and intercultural cou-
ples resolve issues.
Of course, first a person must
determine if he/she is part of an inter-
faith or intercultural couple. Rabbi
Sherwin Wine explains the difference
as he sees it.
"An interfaith couple has different

beliefs. If a Reform- Jew marries an
Orthodox Jew, that's an interfaith
marriage," he says. "They're already
going to argue about food."
On the other hand, "an intercultur-
al couple shares the same belief system
but they celebrate different holidays,"
he says. "Their cultural identities
define where they came from; not
what they believe."
Not everyone shares Wine's defini-
tions. To many Jews, interfaith means
two different religions, not different
denominations, although a Reform-
Orthodox marriage could certainly

have religious obstacles. Intercultural,
then, would be a Sephardic-
Ashkenazic union, where the customs
each spouse brings to the marriage are
different, within the same religion.
"You are pioneers," Wine tells the
group of intermarried couples. "There
is no precedent, no traditions for
intermarriage." His attitude is one of
optimism. "Life has problems. If there
weren't any problems, we wouldn't
have a reason to get together [today]."

According to Dr. Egon Mayer, sociol-
ogist and executive director of the
Jewish Outreach Institute in New
York, there has been a major change in
outreach efforts to intermarried cou-
ples in the last 10 years.
"Non-synagogue-based outreach
has become big," he explains. "Part of
the reason some people aren't interest-
ed in synagogue-based programs is
because they're not religious. SO there's
been the greatest growth in outreach

