The BiG Story

When Barney
Rests On Shabbat

Rahel Musleah
Special to The AppleTree

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I

n our house, Barney rests on
Shabbat. So do Lion King, Lamb
Chop, Snow White and
Cinderella.
"No, they don't!" screamed 2-
year-old Shoshana when she first
learned she couldn't watch TV
because of her video friends'
"sleeping habits."
But after a few months of persis-
tence on her parents' part, at 3 she
asked, "Barney's resting today,
right?"
This isn't the first time we've dealt
with "Shabbat shock," as our chil-
dren discovered they can't do cer-
tain things on Shabbat and holi-
days. As a preschooler Shira,
now 1 1 and always an avid
artist, cried when she could-
n't color.
Are we cruel parents,
depriving our children of
their favorite pastimes?
It might seem so, if
"no" were the operative
word we emphasized
on Shabbat. But it isn't.
There's plenty of good
stuff to replace Barney:
Cookies lavishly dotted
with rainbow sprinkles for
Shabbat breakfast; organic
strawberries at $3.99 a pint;
special Shabbat clothes and shoes;
even lipstick.

Rahel Musleah is a freelance
journalist and the co-author, with
Rabbi Michael Klayman, of
Sharing Blessings:
Childrens' Stories for
Exploring the Spirit of the
Jewish Holidays (Jewish Lights).

Shiro and Shoshana find their creative skills enhanced.

Shira and Shoshana have devel-
oped creative ways to plqy on
Shabbat. With friends, they plan
and rehearse their own version of
The Wizard of Oz: Parents are
invited to the performance, com-
plete with intermission and refresh-

ments, just before Havdalah. The
children arrange Beanie Baby mar-
riages, collect treasures in the syna-
gogue (including sequins from over-
dressed bar-mitzvah guests, fancy
kippot and lace-head coverings,
leftover bags of candies) and make

up whimsical games; create tents
out of blankets, and entire homes
out of quilts and sheets stretched
down banisters and across rooms.
This, of course, requires a certain
amount of tolerance on our part —40
but hey, anything in the name of
imagination and creativity.
This are exactly the traits Shabbat
fosters, says Nehama Liss-Levinson,
a psychologist in Great Neck,
N.Y., who has written on develop-
mental milestones in the Jewish fami-
ly and is author of When a
Grandparent Dies: A Kid's Own
Workbook. "Shabbat turns on the
switch, literally, toward more
reliance on the inner self, imagina-
tion and creativity, rather than
reliance on the outer world and
technology," she says. "It provides
an opportunity for self-discipline and
learning to postpone gratification."
Shabbat rituals are powerful
bonding tools, adds Ron Isaacs,
rabbi of Temple Sholom in
Bridgewater, N.J., and author of
The Jewish Family Game Book for
the Sabbath and Festivals.
In particular, he cites_the Friday
blessing parents give their children.
For a boy: "May God give you the
blessings of Ephraim and
Manasseh." For a girl: "May God
give you the blessings of Sarah,
Rebecca, Rachel and Leah." For
both: "May God bless you and
guard you. May God show you
favor and be gracious to you. May
God show you kindness and grant
you peace."
"There's a feeling of bringing
God's presence into the room,
especially when I think about how
old that blessing is," he says. "To