The

Bed
Overfloweth

A new self-help book
may solve your
relationship woes,
but don't count on it.

JULIE WIENER
Staff Writer

I

'd made all the wedding
arrangements down to the last
detail (OK, so I lied), yet it
seemed there was something I'd
forgotten.
Catering, flowers, honeymoon...oh
yeah! Preparing for marital difficulties
that may crop up due to my fiance's
family, my family and our collective
neuroses.
With only a few months left ctil the
ketubah-signing and our mental
health funds drained by wedding
expenses, full-scale psychoanalysis or
even a few therapy sessions seemed
out of the question.
So we opted for a quickie cure
which I imagine will soon top the list
of cures approved by cost-cutting
HMOs: a self-help book authored by
Nancy Wasserman Cocola, a psy-
chotherapist whose credentials include
appearances on Oprah and Sally jessy
Raphael.
Perhaps my psycho-snob feelings
are merely an example of how my
family — a psychiatrist mother, psy-
chologist sister and a stepmother who
writes psychoanalytic Shakespearean
criticism — has wielded its influence
on me, but Six In The Bed: Dealing
with Parents, In-Laws and Their
Impact on Your Marriage left me
unimpressed, to say the least.
Promising to "help you learn to
understand — and contain — the role
your parents and in-laws play in your
marriage," Six In The Bed enlightens
us with a not-so-groundbreaking para-

12/26
1997

70

iii A~;ii^iii4^i i4 n

digm for
understanding
conflict called
the Marriage
Mirror (why
::;.;*;;K :K*;
this is capital-
ized is a mys-
Dealing with-Parents, In-Laws and
tery to me).
From what
Their Impact on Your Marriage
I could gather,
the Marriage
Mirror means
taking a step
back from
domestic bat-
tles and think-
ing about
whether or
not the con-
flict with your
spouse is
merely a
replay of
issues from
mine), wasserman rocola
your parents'
marriage or
from your
childhood.
In any event, while Cocola may be
Reasonable, but. the idea is
a fabulous therapist and TV personali-
stretched into a very repetitive 200-
ty, her writing needs more work.
page (large print, thank goodness)
Despite attempts to liven up the prose
book with endless case studies of
with quotes and suggested role-play
marital battles and how they were '
dialogues, it is boring and poorly edit-
peacefully resolved through a combi-
ed.
nation of (surprise!) communication,
Reading Six In The Bed is not likely
understanding and the willingness to
to
make
or break your marriage nor
stand up to pesky, meddling rela-
will it prevent you from taking on all
tives.
of Dad's annoying habits or Mom's
Myself, I prefer the age-old tech-
unresolved neuroses. But the title,
nique of blaming everything on the
well, that leaves a bit to the imagina-
other person, yelling a lot, then calm-
tion...
ing down with a pint of Haagen Dazs.

.