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12/26
1997
26
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from page 24
Does Involvement
Equal Connection?
of both Temple Israel and the larger
Reform Movement and then ask
themselves whether events like
"Boogie Night" are really on the mark.
In "Boogie Night" (Dec. 19), the
director of the Family Life Center at
Nacha Sara Leaf
Temple Israel states that a junior
Oak Park
youth group comprised of 11 to 13-
year-olds was started last year "because
I really felt like we needed to have our
kids make that connection to temple
earlier." I'm sure that most religious
educators would concur that begin-
ning a child's involvement at a young
MENTORS from page 25
age will lead to an increased identifica-
tion and connection with the particu-
which we live. When closeted, we dis-
lar religious institution.
honestly present a false self to others
The subject of the article was a din-
because of fear of hate and rejection.
ner dance that Temple Israel recently
To come out is an act of assertiveness
sponsored for its junior youth group
and affirmation in a society that
members. The accompanying photos,
would
rather we stay dishonest and
particularly one of a young boy and
passive.
girl holding each other and dancing,
The honesty it takes to come out is
lead me to wonder why the parents of
so profound that when others learn
these youngsters are so anxious to pre-
about our gayness, they become hon-
maturely thrust their offspring into a
est with us as well. It forces truthful-
quasi-adult social arena of dinner-
ness to the forefront for all.
dance events. Do 11-year-olds really
This was best illustrated in the
need to socialize with the opposite
movie In and Out in which Kevin
sex?
Kline portrays a gay man who comes
For me, the article raises an overrid-
out.
There is a scene in which his
ing question that goes beyond the
mother and her girlfriends are sitting
scope of this particular event. What
around talking about this "outing"
does Temple Israel see as its mandate
and they decide to take risks and be
concerning youth education and spiri-
honest with each other and "come
tual enrichment and how does its pro-
out" about their own deep dark
gramming reflect and meet its goals.
secrets. It is done very appropriately
The junior youth group event
and best shows what actually happens
described ion the article more resem-
to us and those around us when we
bled a high-tech disco happening than
tell our truth.
an event offered under the auspices of
As I said, there are no Bubbie
a religious institution. If the parents
Beltzmans in the lesbian and gay cul-
are concerned that their children learn
ture. There are still very few gay men-
the latest dances so as to be more
tors who can or will come forward
socially viable, it might be more cost
and be available to gay and lesbian
effective to enroll their offspring in a
youth. There are many people who
local dance studio.
will
not allow it also.
For future events, instead of featur-
I am always filled with grief when a
ing disc jockeys as emcees, how about
man older than I am, in his 40s, 50s,
drawing on the temple's numerous
60s and even 70s, comes to me
gifted rabbis and educators to develop
because I am out and asks me what it
innovative programs for youth that
is like to be gay and to teach him the
speak for that institution's philosophy
gay culture. It should be the other way
and raison d'etre.
around.
Admittedly, it is more difficult and
I long for a bubbie-like presence in
challenging to spark teen-agers' inter-
our culture to nurture me and teach
est without resorting to flashy high-
me the kinds of things about what it
tech entertainment; but the results
means to be a gay man as I was
would be well worth the added effort
taught about what it means to be a
and the connection to temple desired
by the youth group's director would be Jew.
I will end with the most healing
a more meaningful and longer-lasting
words
that were ever said to me in my
bond.
whole
life.
When I told Bubbie
The youth educators of this institu-
Beltzman I was gay at age 23, she
tion need to take a closer look at their
looked at me and said, "Gay Shmay,
hopes and dreams for these young-
Yusselah, just don't be alone!"
sters, who surely constitute the future
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