Israel

Integration Under the Chuppah

U

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12/26
1997

158

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Special to the Jewish News

T

he meteoric rise in mar-
riages between Ashkenazim
and Sephardim means that
it will be virtually impossi-
ble to differentiate between the two
groups in another generation. The
process will probably take several gen-
erations more where Ethiopian immi-
grants are concerned, but even there
"integration under the chuppah"
(wedding canopy), is beginning to
occur.
As might be expected, the first
Ethiopians to "marry out" are those
who came from relatively sophisticated
Addis Ababa rather than from rural
areas, and who are already in large
measure part of Israeli society.
Take for example Naftali, a 28-
year-old Ethiopian immigrant who is
both a graduate of the Haifa Technion
(in engineering) and an officer in. the
Israeli Air Force. Morit, his 28-year-
old native Israeli wife, met and fell in
love with him in the course of her
work with new immigrants.
Four years of interracial marriage
have not lessened their love for one
another, but on occasion they have
been troubled by the attitude of oth-
ers. When, for example, Morit went to
pick up gas masks, the guard asked
her why she wanted two. Pointing to
her son Noam, who was standing by
her side, she said that one was for
him.
Moth describes Noam's complexion

1

as mocha, "a color I love. But I real-
ize," she adds, "others are apt to see it
primarily as a sign of his Ethiopian
heritage. Indeed, when the son of
Russian immigrants grows up he'll
immediately be seen as a sabra, while
our son, who is most certainly a sabra,
is always likely to be regarded as an
Ethiopian."
Even though Mork and Naftali
agree on most things, here and there
disagreements do arise. "When Mork
asks me to do the dishes," Naftali
comments with the trace of a smile, "I
point out that in Ethiopia men never
go into the kitchen."
Ethiopian-born university student
Rachel English (25) has no problem
getting her educator husband Brian
(31) into the kitchen. Coming from
the United States, he is used to seeing
men wash up. By the same token,
Brian is always ready to change the
diapers of their daughter Daniela.
There was no problem of parental
approval when Rachel and Brian
decided to wed. Brian's parents were
actually very pleased because, after
going out with a string of non-Jewish
girls, he was marrying a Jew.
Asked about the reactions they
encountered here in Israel, Rachel
said, "People do stare at us a great deal
and occasionally ask Brian if his par-
ents approved of the marriage. There
was a time, I might add, when passers-
by came up to me and asked whether
I would be willing to clean their hous-
es. It wasn't the proposal that bothere..
me but their automatic assumption
that a black woman cleaned houses.
Both Rachel and Brian look for-
ward "to a society where stereotypes
and racism will be a thing of the past,
where people will be judged by their
character and not by their color." 111