•INGife,

Present Perfect

Buying the right shower
gift can be a frustrating
experience.

a

'Design Potent Pe nding

LYNNE MEREDITH COHN
Staff Writer

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ift-buying for the holidays
challenges just about every-
one, but throw in a wed-
ding and you have a brand
new nightmare.
I realized recently while buying a
shower present for one of my best
friends, that buying gifts for weddings,
showers and engagements can be a
form of Hell.
Not only do
you have to
anticipate the
bride and
groom's tastes
(which, if
you're a good
enough friend
and in the
wedding party,
you'd better
know), but
you have to
spend the right
amount of
money on a
present that
the couple
want desperately and will undoubtedly
use.
This recent experience sent me
spinning. I wanted to duck into a cave
and not come out until after the wed-
ding. Only problem: I'm a bridesmaid,
so the pressure is on.
Jane and Jack (names have been .
changed to protect my place in the
wedding) live in Maryland. He's from
New York, she's from Kentucky. They
tried to please everyone with where
they registered — everyone, that is,
except the bridesmaid in Michigan.
Bloomingdale's, Lazarus and a little
store in New York were included.
Since I didn't want to order blindly by
phone, I was pretty much working
with no direction whatsoever as to
what they could use. Sure, I've been to
their apartment countless times. I've
even stayed there for several days. I
know Jane better than most, talk to

her at least once a week. But I still
didn't know whether she wanted to
keep the current shower curtain or
revamp the bathroom.
The way I look at it, a wedding or
shower present should help the couple
ease into married life. Which explaint"
the bevy of kitchen items they
received. Of course, there were even
complications in that arena.
Jack's mother, a well-meaning, over-
bearing, middle-aged New Yorker,
bought a beautiful carving knife and
fork set. She had the knife engraved
with his last name, assuming that Jane
will drop her maiden name and take
his once they're married.
Let's just say the shower produced a
few tears — happy and frustrated.
It was a themed shower. Each invi-
Photo by Daniel Lippitt
tation speci-
fied a particu-
lar room for
which we
ought to buy
an appropriate
gift. I got th&
bathroom.
No twen-
tysomething
has a bath-
room- big
enough for
that many
presents.
Still, I
wanted to
remain true to the hostesses. So I went
for the frivolous, not-so-necessary and
quite romantic present: soaps, bubble
bath, lotion and candles. Hey, they are
getting married; what's a little extra
romance?
Jane sat on a plastic chair by the
side of the pool, opening one gift after
another. From her mother, the blue
garter she wore when she married
Jane's father. We cried. From his
mother, the knife set and a book
about weird sexual positions. We
cried.
Pots and pans, a baseball cap
embroidered with the word bride,
crystal candlesticks in the shape of
Jewish stars (what room was that for?)
and my relaxation kit. With a mother
in-law-to-be on her left, a mother on
her right and a bunch
of women oohing and ahhing, her
look said it all: I bought the perfect
gift. El