ti

Dating In

S

Cyberspac

Internet access
can increase the ways to meet
other Jewish singles.

•

DAVID KUSHNER

Special to the Jewish News

J

ews may not have walked the
moon, but they're busy
exploring another universe:
cyberspace.
Tired of the same old lines and
same old bars, more and more
Jewish singles from across the planet
are seeking each other out over the
wires of the Internet. What they're
finding is a brave new world of
romance, where love abounds, yet
nothing is precisely what it seems.
Single Jews have long been experi-
menting with an array of meeting
places, from weekend getaways in
the Catskills.to weeknight Torah
classes at the shul down the street.
Ultimately, though, a busy career
makes these treks all the more chal-
lenging. At the end of a long day,
then, it's a lot easier to just boot up
the computer and see who's hanging
out online.
For many, the Internet and ser-
vices like America Online offer a
refreshing and easily accessible alter-
native to the standard dating scene.
Of course, hanging out online usual-
ly means one thing: chat.
Since the Internet craze exploded
a few years ago, nearly 60 percent of
new surfers say they go online to
talk with other people. This takes
place by entering a chat room and
typing in real-time to the others who
are also plugged in. On some ser-
vices, chatters can send each other
instant messages which allow them
to maintain a private conversation
while simultaneously participating in
the main chat room.

12/19
1997

62

"It's like hav-
ing 20 conversa-
tions at once," says
Kieve, a 31-year-old
entertainment executive
from Detroit. "Hopefully
one of them will turn into
something more."
For some, something more can
actually lead to marriage. According
to Marc Klein, publisher of Jewish
Community Online, over 30 couples
have gotten married after meeting
each other on his service on AOL
(AOL members can access the area
by typing keyword: "Jewish").
Currently, JCO contains nearly
150,000 active participants who visit
the site every day.
"There are loads and loads of Jews
who want to meet other Jews
online," says Klein.
As a result, JCO offers a special
section exclusively for singles, allow-
ing visitors to troll the chat rooms or
leave messages for each other on
topic boards, Even more popular is
the JCO's matchmaking service,
which very well might provide the
world's first virtual shidduch. Visitors
can leave their pertinent info and let
the service find a compatible match.
There's even a specific section
which lists single Jews by cities
including Detroit (if any women are
looking for a nice, Jewish man who
loves kids, boot up MRosenberg).
Susan, a 35+ single met Warren,
her husband-to-be, on JCO just
shortly after a painful break-up.
Soon enough, they met offline and
got engaged.
"We both.feel that this is a mitz-
vah that has been arranged on

another level," Susan
says.
For people like Susan and
Warren, Net dating provides
necessary advantages to offline
dating. Singles are able to choose
how they wish to represent them-
selves, which might explain why so
many people online are thin, tan and
20.
Since people are separated by
computers, there's also a considerable
feeling of safety to express things
that someone might be inhibited to
say in person (despite a popular mis-
conception, most people cannot
"hack" your personal data from your
computer; therefore, they only will
know as much about someone as he
or she chooses to reveal).
The problem: When has someone
revealed too much?
"People tend to be naive online,"
says Johnny Abush, creator of
NuYenta (wvv-w.nuyenta.com), an
Internet dating sight for lesbian, gay
and bisexual Jews. "People need to
be careful and check out who they're
dealing with fully before giving out
personal information."

•

But with a little common sense
and resourcefulness, singles can lead
happy and healthy social lives
online. Not only can they meet Jews
within their own community, they
can meet Jews from across the world.
For the surfers on Abush's site, the
Net, in fact, has become a necessary -
part of survival.
"People might be in a rural area
with only a few Jews around," he
says. "Finding someone to socialize
[with] is difficult. If you add on
top of that, that you're gay or les-
bian, it's impossible to find some-
one."
Ultimately, the Net offers a new •
way to reach out and kibitz with
someone. At worst, it's just another
night on the town. At best, singles
might find themselves connected
under a more lasting shelter: a chup-
pah.

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