°For Openers...
The Schminskites
Invented The Dreidel
TED ROBERTS
Special to The Jewish News
E
verybody has heard of
Chelm, a village revered in
Jewish legend as a home to
fools. But very few historians
know about Schminsk, a den of dunces.
D Not Pinsk, not Minsk, but Schminsk.
This infamous town was in that
intersection of Europe where Austria,
Poland and Russia continually quar-
reled over the real estate. Schminsk, at
one time or another, had belonged to
each of the three contestants. When
the Schminskers, who were at that
time loyal Poles, were grabbed by the
Austrians, jubilation reigned. Thank
-_--God, chorused the villagers. No more
of those brutal Polish winters.
This story begins as Chanukah
approached. The Schminskites loved
everything about Chanukah: "The
young girl Esther who saved her peo-
ple; Haman's punishment; blueberry
hamentashen. Oy, such a holiday,"
said the mayor.
"Uh oh, wait a minute, that's
Simchat Torah."
"No, you schlemiel, that's Purim,"
said old Machaya, the oldest and wis-
est man in town.
Well, they finally got it straight.
Yes, Chanukah was the holiday that
commemorated the Syrian defeat, the
cleansing of the Temple, the miracle of
the oil.
And did you know that the game of
dreidel originated in Schminsk. Yes,
out of this swamp of feeblemindedness
came that great game. It all began
with old Machaya. "We need to
upgrade Chanukah," he said. "I mean,
eight days of potato cakes that plug
you up like wet clay on the riverbank?
That's a joyous holiday?"
"Why not a game of chance?" asked
Schmendrick, who ran a weekly poker
game. He was a daredevil who'd bet
on anything: whether it was winter or
summer; was the river frozen or not
frozen; was it raining or not raining?
"I got it," he says. "We'll lay 'Fats' ,
-
Guess WHAT K 05? THIS 9EAR,
INSTEAD OF GETTING A GIFT
EVERY NIGHT OF CHANUKAH,
YOU'LL GET 1-UST ONE NICE
GIFT EACH!
Felafel on his belly in the synagogue
basement and spin him around. He's
nice and zoftig. He'll spin like a
greased latke. And in each corner of
the room we'll place a sign: Take 1
ruble; Put in 1 ruble; Take half; Zero
— no action. Each player will spin
Fats and where he points that's what
you take or pay into the pot."
All Schminsk rejoiced. Every
Chanukah, Fats was escorted with
proper pomp and ceremony to the
synagogue basement where his civic
responsibility consisted of about 200
revolutions on a waxy floor. He went
home dizzy and nauseous but a
respected member of the community.
With this enhancement, Chanukah
became a delight to the citizens of
Schminsk.
Then, who could forget that third
night of Chanukah when Fats sudden-
ly couldn't revolve for even one revolu-
tion. He just lay there, an immobile
blob on the hardwood floor. No luck.
The basement was filled with a deep
collective groan of disappointment
from the players of Schminsk, who
were anxious for a little action. That's
when "Brains" Bukelovitch, the most
creative man in Schminsk, spoke up.
"You know, we could make a big
metal pointer that looks like Fats.
We'll spin it with the same result. It'll
never get nauseous like Fats and mess
up the basement floor."
And that's what they did.
Gradually, over the years, improve-
ments were made.
Then, one portentous night, a week
before the holiday, somebody figured
out that there was really no need to
place signs around the room. What
they needed was a four-sided "Fats"
with the action on each side. And who
said it had to be 5 feet 8 inches long
and weigh 280 pounds. It could be
the size of a child's top.
The dreidel — our modern hi-tech
dreidel — was born thanks to
Schminsk.
They'd never have thought that up
in Chelm.
qOU
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12/19
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