°COMMUNITY VIEWS

A Very Fond Look
At A Strong Parent

According to my grandmother, nice
y mother is coming to
Jewish girls from Toronto didn't do
visit for the holidays.
things like that; my mother did, any-
It's been over a year
way.
since I've seen her.
My parents and several other cou-
After my parents divorced, she left
ples founded Temple Emanuel, a
Toronto and moved me, my older
Reform synagogue in Toronto and for
brother and two younger sisters to
many years my mother taught
Geneva, Switzerland. Today, she'd say
Sunday school there. On Friday
she wanted to give her children a
nights, when I was young, she lit can-
(72 unique upbringing; but who knows
dles and recited the prayers as we
what drove a woman in her late thir-
gathered around the dining room
ties to leave all that was familiar and
table for Shabbat.
move with four children to the mid-
Passionate about life, my mother
dle of Europe. As a single woman,
exposed us to literature, theater,
she struggled to provide a safe, warm
music and film at an early age. Once,
home; and for many years I watched
while having a snack in a diner before
her battle loneliness and fear. She has
going to see a production of
chutzpah.
Oliver, she saw two actors
My mother was adopted
from the show at a nearby
as an infant and grew up in
booth. They sat, fully cos-
a large house in Toronto's
tumed in Dickensian
Forest Hill neighborhood.
clothes, sipping coffee. My
Her father was a respected
mother introduced herself,
doctor in the Jewish com-
told them we were going to
munity. Her mother, a very
see the show and cajoled
conservative woman, had
them into telling us about
worked as a seamstress to
the making of a musical.
put him through medical
We huddled around to lis-
PE TER
school.
ten.
GREE N BAUM
A rebellious child, my
Often, for family and
Spec ial to
mother grew into a talented
The Jew ish News friends, she would rent a
athlete and competed on
projector and show movies
her school swim team. My
in our living room. Requiem
grandmother balked when her daugh-
For A Heavyweight by Rod Serling,
ter was recruited along with two
was one of the first movies I watched.
other girls to film an underwater seg-
Around the time of my 13th birth-
ment for an Esther Williams movie.
day and my parents' divorce, a new

111

Peter Greenbaum is an independent
filmmaker in Chicago.

rabbi was installed at our synagogue.
His beliefs conflicted with the views

EDITOR'S
NOTEBOOK

olds doing the simple things like get-
ting a haircut. Maybe you haven't
either. Have you ever really paid atten-
tion to your child sitting in the bar-
ber's chair?
Have you wondered who children
see when they look back at themselves
in the mirror while they get their hair-
cut?
It says so much about them. My
ninth-grader confidently sat down and
told the stylist she wanted a "Rachel."
I had no idea what she was talking
about. The stylist did, though, and
they went off together in a conversa-
tion of lengths and curls and parts.
There was my older daughter, shifting
her face, watching in the mirror. She'd
smile, cast an eye at her profile.
Who did she see there?
I watched from my seat in the wait-
ing area, leafing through an outdated
sports magazine.
I remember this child as she sat on

Check Mirrors,
Find Ourselves

PHIL JACOBS
Editor

Monday evening I had the opportuni-
ty to take my two
daughters out for a
haircut.
So what, big deal.
We parents have
done this many,
many times. I
haven't taken nearly
the time to watch
my 14- and 8-year-

of several members of our congrega-
tion, including my parents. At my
mother's urging, my parents resigned
from the temple they had helped to
build. With the divorce impending,
our religious education was put on

hold. Within a year, I found myself
living in a tiny village called Coppet
beside Lake Geneva.
Our first year was difficult. My
mother's job, arranged before the

the curb in front of a parked moving
van at our Southfield street some 7
1/2 years ago.

At the second chair sits my 8-year-
old. She sits there making faces at her-
self in the mirror. She opens her
mouth when the brush goes through a
tangle. She seems to enjoy the clip
holding her hair in a ponytail over her
head. Her eyes close in a grimace
when her hair gets yanked a little. She
occasionally throws a smile my way
when she realizes I'm watching her.
Two days before, we celebrated her
birthday. She had friends sleeping
over. We watched a video of her
fourth birthday. Some of the second
and third graders sitting on the sofa
under blankets and on pillows saw
themselves as 3- and 4-year-olds. It
brings a smile to hear the children
squeal at the younger likenesses of
themselves. They played so many
times together. They learned to watch
out for each other. They've learned to
love one another.
MIRRORS on page 31

Can you look
yourself straight
in the eye?

Like a whirlwind in time came the
days, the friendships, her bat mitzvah,
her achievements at Bais Yaakov
School and the Daniel Sobel
Friendship Circle. There have been
days on stage with Nancy Gurwin's
theater troupe, overnight camp, the
braces, horse back riding, jazz dancing
and so many other issues.
Now, the little second grader is a
teen-ager, a lovely girl who keeps me
in wonder.

PARENT on page 31

12/12

1997

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