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It's a different
kind of
dating game
when you're
past 60
and still
searching.

12/5
1997

72

especially having taught elementary
school for 26 years and having been
involved in many other community
activities. "It was a normal thing. I get
West Harriet Shubin, 71, of
along well with people."
West Bloomfield made a
Kari Provizer, director of Temple
routine trip to her mail-
Israel's Family Life Center which runs
box last April, she had no
the Beshert Connection, says the singles
way of knowing that opening that little
network enables Jewish singles to meet
door would lead to an exciting new
each other "in a non- threatening and
chapter in her life.
mutually agreeable fashion. It is not a
On that spring day, Shubin, a mem-
dating service."
ber of the Beshert Connection, Temple
About 15 percent of the 350-strong
Israel's Jewish singles network, found a
membership is older than 60, Provizer
postcard with a gentleman's name print-
says. "It has been a wonderful avenue
ed on it. He wanted to meet her. Little
for this age group. Most
did she know that it was besh-
have been married before —
ert (Yddish for meant to be).
L eft:
Seven months later, Shubin
Isadore Goldstein: widows and widowers.
looks back on her first tele-
Back in the dat- Many are looking for com-
panionship. Dating is a
phone conversation with the
ing game.
scary thing to do, whether
gentleman caller. "We talked
young or old. People are
Be low:
for about an hour and a half.
Harriet Shubin: really having a good time."
We had a lot in common. We
Find ing her
A Beshert member in his
both love tennis, opera, the
bes hert.
late 60s, Isadore- Goldstein, of
ocean and going out to eat,"
Southfield, says, "The
she says.
Beshert Connection is an excellent pro-
Dinner followed. And since then, the
gram because it removes some of the
two have become a pretty steady item.
uncertainty and difficulty in finding
They are planning to spend the winter
someone who is conceivably compatible
months together in Florida.
with you."
"Without a question,.I am very glad
Members' photographs in the profile
I joined [the Beshert Connection]. I
book are helpful; too, he says. Although
consider myself lucky that he came into
Goldstein has yet to meet that special
my life," says Shubin. "He is really kind
someone, he plans to continue his
of a soul mate. We've had a wonderful
search.
time." .
"In a successful relationship, there
Widowed after 51 years of marriage,
has to be a commonality that goes
Shubin says, "At this age, dating is really
beyond the physical. I like the opera,
a whole new ball game. It is really quite
the symphony, chamber music, dancing
different than dating in my teens. But it
and nature." And he would prefer to
is something that I have no fear about. I
meet a Jewish woman.
feel very confident."
Goldstein admits that he finds dating
The transition back into the dating
in his 60s very different than dating in
world wasn't that tough for Shubin,
his 20s.
"At my age, the list of specifications
is very refined and long. The problem is
that I have to find someone who fits the
specifications."
A 67-year-old Beshert member who
spoke on the condition of anonymity
says he joined Beshert after friends
encouraged him to go to Temple Israel
to meet people.
"I don't go to bars. The Beshert
Connection is a good system. The peo-
ple are very nice," he says.
That gentleman would like to meet a
woman who is "down to earth and carec
about the other person, regardless of
age, status or money. A real person."
Recently, he was chosen by a
woman from the Connection, and he's
looking forward to their first meeting.
Looks like love may be just around the
corner. ❑

BARBARA WYLAN SEFTON
Specialito The Jewish News

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