EdItoR's NoTe
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Elizabeth Applebaum
AppleTree Editor
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Personal Interviews
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hough I wouldn't admit it in
public, I often take a quick look
at some of those idiotic articles,
bearing a headline along the lines of
"What A Man Really Wants in a
Woman!" (inevitably with lots of ital-
ics and exclamation points!) in
women's magazines. I'm pleased to
see that "a sense of humor" almost
always tops the list.
Like intelligence and compassion, a
sense of humor, I'm convinced, is
innate. But as with intelligence and
compassion it has to be developed,
or else it just lies there inert, vapid —
much like any Barry Manilow song.
Consequently, I have set out to nur-
ture my children's sense of humor,
and I'm delighted to say I can see it
working. Yes, they have my sense of
humor, which some might not see as
so very funny. These people are
idiots.
We tell a lot of jokes in my home.
My husband and I have sat through
at least 1,000 renditions of that insuf-
ferable "Knock, knock," "Who's
there?" "Orange you glad I didn't
say 'banana' again," routine. We've
heard many jokes about chickens
and dinosaurs crossing roads. And
we've done our best to laugh uproarij
ously at homemade jokes that make
absolutely no sense.
"Knock, knock," Yitz says, beam-
ing.
"Who's there?" Phillip and I call.
"Dog."
"Dog who?"
"Dog is going in the bathtub in
your house, ha ha ha ha ha!"
Another way I develop my chil-
dren's humor is to speak to them
many levels above their comprehen-
sion, yet still as though they can actu-
ally understand. A prime example of
this is the Creepy Creatures Contest.
In our basement/playroom, we
have a red bucket filled with tiny
dinosaurs, plastic spiders, fake lizards
and other bizarre beings. At first, my
favorite activity in the world (outside
of watching "America's Most
Wanted") was grabbing one of these
fellows and screaming, "Aaaahh!
Help! This creature is attacking me!"
"Very, very funny, Mommy," Adina
would say, not even looking up. She
has heard this as many times as I've
heard "banana knock-knock."
Then I got the idea of having the
myriad lizards and spiders compete
for the title of "Creepiest Creature."
We dress them up, we interview
them, we see their talents, and then
we cast our vote.
Along the way, I provide a running
commentary. "Now as we stand here
with the two final candidates, we
need to remember that the role of first
runner up is very important," I say.
"Should the winner not be able to ful-
fill her duties..."
I also speak for the creepy crea-
tures who, during that vital question-
and-answer period, talk about how
they want to help the needy and the
environment and bring world peace.
Naturally, the winner has her spe-
cial moment, walking in her plastic
crown to the admiring crowd while I
sing, "There she comes, Miss Creepy
Creature. There she comes, your
ideal!"
Though they have yet to see a sin-
gle beauty contest, my children are
always amused by this game, and
they've quickly learned to make their
own contributions. "It's not how you
look that matters," they'll say, speak-
ing for one of the lime-green lizards.
"It's the kind of creepy creature you
are inside."
Of course, lest you think this tech-
nique has created "Seinfeld" writers
out of my little ones, I admit that
while they are amused by our con-
tests what they really find hilarious is
an episode of a situation comedy
called "All That." And they're still
telling knock-knock jokes.
Elizabeth Applebaum
AppleTree Editor