■

Sort Of

They may be unmarried and hoping to find someone,
but young adults just can't stomach the s-word.

ALLISON KAPLAN
Special to the Jewish News

C

all them shmoozers, social
networks or the convention-
al "connections." Any way
you dress it, that neon SIN-
GLES sign keeps flashing through.
Folks might say they're attending a
singles event for the speaker or the
community service project, but ask
them back once they've hooked up
with a special someone. Odds are, you
won't find an attached person within a
mile of any sort of organized social
group.
"It's the kind of group a lot of peo-
ple don't want to stay in," says clinical

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1997

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psychologist Dion Frischer, the singles
coordinator for Jewish Family Services
of Washtenaw County. "There is a
perception that you're a loser if you
use a singles group."
"Singles" is a label many people
want to avoid, says Kari Provizer,
director of Temple Israel's Beshert
Connection. Some Jewish singles net-
works are changing their names to
"social" networks, she says, in hopes of
dispelling the apprehension people
have about joining.
"It's scary sometimes to admit that
you're single. And it's scary to get
involved with anything that labels
you," Provizer notes. .
Yet, new social groups aimed at

helping Detroit-area Jews make a love
connection are popping up every
month. JEMS, otherwise known as
Jews who Enjoy Mingling and
Shmoozing, attracted a crowd of 150
to its inaugural event just a few
months ago.
Lee Winer, coordinator of the group,
says eliminating the word "singles" in
the title was a conscious decision.
"Singles always denotes meeting
somebody," says Winer, who met his
fiancee through Jewish Professional
Singles. "We put our focus on social
activity."
Winer tells people they aren't going
to meet anybody at his events, so they
should just come to have a good time.

"That takes the pressure off, and
there's a much better chance they
actually will meet someone," he says.
Research on singles groups, con-
ducted by Aaron Ahuvia, assistant
professor of marketing with the
University of Michigan Business
School, indicates that Winer's theory
works.
"The most successful groups pro-
vide a cover story, like a speaker,"
Ahuvia says. "You're more likely to
meet people if you're not there just to
meet people. When you try really
hard, you're too judgmental. It poisons
the social atmosphere."
Along with a Northwestern
University professor, Ahuvia began