s
The Scene
New Lease On Love
Couples can
learn a lot
from living
together
sometimes even
that they're just
not meant to be.
11/14
1997
70
KIKI LAWRENCE
Special to The Jewish News
few months ago I moved
out of the apartment I had
shared with Malcolm, my
ex. Leaving has proven to
be bittersweet. It was our home —
and where I learned to live without
him, a painful yet ultimately liberat-
ing process that took almost two
years. It's also where I thought a lot
about what - living with someone
involves.
When I was 22, Malcolm and I
moved in together after dating for
just a few months. It seemed to be a
natural step. We were exuberantly in
love, and this would be our place to
revel in that. Besides, in high-rent
Manhattan it was financially conve-
nient.
We adapted quickly to being full-
time living companions, yet our
work schedules were staggered,
which also gave us both critical time
alone. Remarkably, we divided duties
around the house evenly. We main-
tained an active social life, together
and separately, but we relished our
evenings at home. I learned how to
cook and found great satisfaction,
more than I had anticipated, in
domestic endeavors. Acquiring corn-
munal property — a coffee table big
enough for my magazines as well as
his photography catalogues, bed
linens that met his needs by not
being all black — made us feel
responsible and very grown up.
Having someone to check in with
during the day or seeing the light on
after a long day at work, provided
solidity and a sense of comfort.
For three years, we grew together
and talked often about the future.
But around the time I completed my
master's degree in architectural stud-
ies,our paths began to diverge. He
resented the long hours I spent at
work, and I became frustrated by his
4-